Happy Birthday, Batman Chapter

Story 3 of Cupcake Mentality. 

It's August 12th. 

It's his birthday. 

He sits all alone inside his silent apartment, thinking.

Chapter 1
Happy Birthday, Batman

It's his birthday.

He's one year older and one day closer to death.

He leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. He smiles. No, he doesn't feel like a glass of fine red wine. And he also didn't turn on the light. He likes it in the dark. The familiar darkness is soothing and eloquent. He'd like to forget all his burdens for a while in this silent moment. He never likes family gatherings and dinners. He doesn't do chitchat and gossip. He enjoys being alone, though he's unsure if he's lonely.

Has he ever felt lonely? He has no idea. He knows he won't have any guest or company. And he has no problem or objection with that. He can use some time to clear his head and straighten his thoughts, truth be told. He has been distracted by too many trifles lately. He needs to get things back on the track. He needs to get himself back on the track. He needs to leave all the unnecessary things behind. He needs to keep moving forward. He never wants to be trapped or stuck. He's used to making changes and breakthroughs. He doesn't want to sit around doing nothing and then die.

He doesn't like having regrets and doubts, either. He knows what he wants. He takes what he needs. And he always tries his best not to hurt, to harm, or to cause damage. That's simply not his...style. But sometimes no matter how hard he tries, he falters, stumbles, and fails. He knows it's not all his fault. He has no control over other people's thoughts and feelings. And he doesn't always have control over his own life. He has to make difficult decisions from time to time. And several of his choices have already come back to haunt him.

But he has never tried to escape from his fate or make excuses for himself. He's not that kind of person. And he likes to take responsibilities. He laughs out loud at himself. He always wants to be the hero. He always wants to do the right things. Because someone has to do the jobs. And he doesn't want to run away screaming and hide. For some reason, he always needs to be the silent and better man. He needs to be sure that deep down inside he's a good and decent man.

Yeah, mentally sick and emotionally ill. Definitely.

His lips curl upward into a full-on smile. It's 00:37 in the morning. He's all alone inside his apartment on top of the RangeMan building. He has friends and family. He has desires, lusts and needs. And he has just turned 34. He's one year older and one day closer to death. He's Ricardo Carlos Manoso. He prefers people call him Ranger. Maybe he does feel a little bit lonely.

But, no, he's not complaining.

Chapter 2

Any Given Sunday

It's his birthday. She sits in her bed trying all she can to suppress the longing in her gaping heart. She so wants to be there, by his side, telling him "Happy Birthday!" and "I love you, by the way". But she doesn't dare. She never has that kind of courage or nerve. Beside, he doesn't share. And she's caught between two men. Maybe neither of them is her MR. Right. Maybe both of them are her prince in shining armour. She doesn't know the answer. She's pathetically clueless. She's always in denial. She wishes she is brave enough to get out of bed. She wishes she's smart enough to go to him. She wishes she can make him hers. She wishes she can have his love. She thinks of the moment of passion they shared in that closet. She thinks of their first night together. Right here in her narrow bed. The smell of the freshly baked cookies. The fear and thrill that rushed through her whole body. The enchanting gleam of desire in his beautiful eyes. The burning, hypnotizing touch of his lips. He was, and still is, perfect. Just perfect. So perfect that she can't help feeling sad. She sits in her bed till dawn breaks. She wishes so hard that her soul aches.

Because she also wishes she knows how to quit her addiction to the other man.

Chapter 3

In Too Deep

He lets himself into her apartment and relocks the door. It's yet another lazy Sunday. He's going out of town tomorrow for a day or two. The late afternoon sun shines through the cheap flowery curtains. The smell of burnt butter and sugar fills the air. Somehow she's inside her small under-equipped kitchen busily making pancakes. With a sickening thud something heavy falls to the floor. She squeaks and gasps like a startled, distressed little girl. In one elegant fluid movement he scoops up the stunned hamster amid the debris of the old glass aquarium. He feels the little animal's weight and warmth before gently placing it inside a clean, clearly unused deep soup pan. The sudden relief and silent gratitude in her eyes please him. The King of Perfect Timing. Silently he laughs at himself. Born to be her own personal hero. And sometimes lover.
"Babe, your pancake is burnt."
She jumps at his voice and with a blush turns her attention back to the stove. He knows she didn't forget his birthday. He doesn't know why he feels he has to see her before he leaves at tomorrow's daybreak. Nothing has changed. Nothing will change. Her life is still like a mixture of cheap comedy and disaster film. She's still caught between two men. And maybe this time he's finally ready to walk away. And this will be his last backward glance.
Maybe he will miss her sweetness. Maybe he will miss her softness. Maybe he will miss the wildness of her hair and the fullness of her lips. But he doesn't make promises he cannot keep. He won't pretend to be someone he cannot be. Time is gold for a mercenary like him. He can't indulging himself in chasing something that can't be caught or won't be his. He leans against the opposite wall and watches her struggle with her unruly domestic instinct. Disentangling himself from this mess of a relationship is the smart thing to do. Letting go and allowing her to survive in her comfort zone is the right thing to do. Maybe she does belong with Joe Morelli. Maybe the two them are destined to be stuck in that malfunctional relationship. Maybe all those arm-flapping and yelling are the expression of love. Life is full of strange wonders. And who is he to judge, really?
Now all he needs to do is phrase his goodbye to Stephanie.
She turns to meet his eyes and suddenly feels panic. There's something in his eyes she can't read. Determination? Resolution? A choice made? A decision set? Goosebumps crawl over her body as she feels her heart sinking into a dark abyss. Whatever that is, it scares her stiff. Without thinking she inches toward him. Before she realizes it her hands are flat on his chest. The heat of his body. The scent of Bulgari. The delicateness of his perfect lips. She closes her eyes and stops thinking. She kisses him with all she's got. She clings to him with all her might. As if he's the only only meaning of her miserable existence. As if he's the last ray of light she sees before she dies...
She blinks in bewilderment when she wakes up the next morning. She's alone in her bed. She remembers last night clearly. She is stunned by her own braveness. She can still smell the enchanting scent of Bulgari and warm Ranger. She can still feel the touch of his strong yet tender hands and intoxicating muscular body. She can't decide if the "Be safe, Stephanie" she heard was her imagination. She feels contented and happy. On her kitchen counter Rex is chewing a blueberry inside a brand new hamster cage. The dreading feeling she suddenly got yesterday is no longer there.
And Ranger is gone already.

Easy Lover

He smells the sweet scent of her perfume. He senses the warmth of her body. He sees the light in her eyes. He feels the touch of her lips. He thinks of their first night together. He thinks of the night he willingly opened her door to face possible death. He still remembers the taste of the freshly baked cookie. He still remembers the smell of his own blood and gunpowder. He saw her almost fearful anticipation. He heard her silent scream. He felt the pleasure. He felt the pain. He sensed the guilt she always felt. He sensed the darkness that swallowed him. He almost laughs at their screwed-up relationship as her hands slide down his chest bravely. One more kiss. Then he can let go and walk away. One more night. Then he can move on and have no regrets. He closes his eyes and stops thinking. He gives in to the husky whisper in his head, and once again let his his heart and body take charge of everything.
He wakes up an hour before dawn. He allows himself to linger for a little while. He gently eases off the bed. He pulls the thin blanket over her naked body. He makes a phone call, takes a quick shower and gets dressed. He opens the door for Ramon, and places the sleepy hamster inside the brand new cage. He goes back into the small bedroom, kisses Stephanie goodbye, and leaves. He drives through the silent city, puts everything behind him, and concentrate on the task at hand. The fruity scent of her shower gel flows inside his Turbo.
And he can't help smiling.

Torn Between Two Lovers 

She gets out of bed and takes a shower. She tries hard not to blush when she sees the marks Ranger left on her body last night. Tears well up in her eyes the moment she sees Rex's brand new hamster cage. She makes coffee. She does a happy dance when she finds the ultra-healthy sandwiches and sliced fruit in her refrigerator. The sun is already high in the sky when she arrives at the bonds office. Business is slow. Connie still has no file for her. Lula has just eaten the very last Boston Creme doughnut. But the smile on her face never falters. They narrow their eyes suspiciously at her and purse their lips. She grabs two plain glazed doughnuts from the box and makes her escape before they have time to make any outrageous comments.
Her life takes a sudden downward spiral after that.
Plain glazed doughnuts are boring. Her crappy car starts making funny noises. She keep getting stopped by red lights. Her best friend and sister call to bitch about their stupid husbands, troublesome kids, and messed-up lives. She has to park in front of the dumpsters. Rex refuses to come out of his hamster cave to welcome her home. Her mother leaves another 10 messages on her answering machine. "Come over for dinner Friday, Stephanie. I will make a chocolate layer cake." Great, her mother is trying to set her up with somebody AGAIN. She finds that she has barely enough money for her rent. And she can't stop thinking about Ranger. She misses him like Hell. Therefore, in order to distract herself, she forces herself to think about Joe and his melted chocolate bedroom eyes.
And that only makes her feel extremely sad and frustrated.
And still she can't stop thinking about Ranger. And the unreadable look in his eyes that scared her so much yesterday...