Sunday, August 19, 2012

Be My Valentine: The Whole Story

Title: Be My Valentine
Category: Books » Janet Evanovich
Author: Cut Myself Shaving
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Genre: Drama/General
Published: 06-12-12, Updated: 07-09-12
Chapters: 26, Words: 13,271
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 1
She sits behind the counter and smiles her pleasant smile.
She's not beautiful. She's not ugly. She's not extremely unattractive. She's not drop dead sexy. She's in her mid-thirties. She reads a lot. And sometimes she believes she's very smart. She likes setting moon and rising sun. She likes small animals such as cats, Chihuahuas and Pugs. She lives alone in a lovely cozy two-story house in a good and friendly neighborhood. She's polite and soft-speaking. She enjoys cooking and baking, and likes to try new recipes. She's a part-time librarian who loves her job. She's a woman secretly in love. She grew up on the same street with the man she loves. She hates the blue-eyed brown-haired woman the man she loves openly wants.
Yes, she's helplessly in love with Joseph Morelli. And she hates Stephanie Plum with all her heart.
She hates Stephanie's stupid smile. She hates Stephanie's crazy life. She hates Stephanie for not being good enough for Joseph, her Joseph. She hates Stephanie for cheating on Joseph with the tall Cuban. Yes, she knows all about Stephanie Plum. All those dirty little secrets. All those shameful scandals. All those kisses in that narrow alley. All those midnight trips to the seven-floored building.
And she also hates that dark-skinned thug. He's not one of their kind. Any decent woman should know to keep away from a man like that. She hates the way he looks. She hates the way he walks. She hates the way he talks. She hates the fact that he owns all those beautiful expensive cars. She hates the fact he is always there to help and save Stephanie Plum.
Yes, she wants something bad to happen to Stephanie. Women who cheat on the men who love them should be punished. She should be the woman who Joseph loves. She should be his Cupcake. She should be his sunray on a summer day. She should be his silver lining in a dark rain cloud. She should be his one and only. She should be the one to wear his ring. She should be the one to cook his meals. She be the one to bear him children. She should be his princess. She should be his happiness. She should be his fate.
And now she has had enough. She will let nothing stand in her way. She will kill Stephanie Plum and that muscular Cuban. She looks at the picture of her sweet handsome Joseph with loving eyes. Her fingertip lingers on his smiling lips.
"Soon, Joseph," Emily Hasting whispers. "Soon I will make you mine."
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Emily Hasting wakes up at the crack of dawn. She lies still in her four poster princess bed, blinks away her sleepiness, and thinks of the plans for the day ahead.
Yes, she reminds herself. Today is the day.
She prides herself for being a reasonable and respectable woman. She always had good grades in school and perfect table manners. She loves poetry and romances. She has been dreaming about visiting Italy and Greece ever since she was a little girl, and she doesn't like New York City. She has been there twice, but didn't feel comfortable or safe there. Too many foreigners. Too many strangers. Too many outsiders. Too loud. Too orderless. Too unfamiliar. She gives herself a rueful smile upon remembering the noises, turns on the TV and starts cooking breakfast.
She enjoys taking care of people. She takes good care of herself. She cooks. She bakes. She cleans. She cherishes stability and values peace. She can't wait to have her own family. She never has pets(her father was always away on business and her mother wouldn't allow it) and wants to have children of her own. She knows her life is lonely and empty(and thus meaningless), but it's about to change. She listens to the morning news, sits down and starts eating. Whole wheat pasta and broccoli. A pinch of French sea salt. With a touch of tomato sauce and half-fat cream cheese. Yummy. She finds it essential to eat healthy. Though she doesn't like garlic, she loves the lingering scent of it(and cheese and onion and beer) in Joseph's breath. She also has a cupcake waiting for her in the refrigerator. Carrot and ginger. Her all-time favorite.
She doesn't know why she loves Joseph this much. She fell in love with him when they were both small children. She loves his face. She loves his smile. She loves his wavy hair. She loves his deep brown eyes. She loves his hairy arms and legs. She silently moans and feels faint whenever she's lucky enough to have a peek of his hairy chest. Yes, she doesn't know why but she does love hairy men.
One certain hairy man.
Emily Hasting exhales a happy dreamy sigh as she bites into the cupcake. God, she loves cupcakes. She also loves all the things smart people like her can learn from the Internet. She's going to get rid of Stephanie Plum today. She has it all planned. Nobody can save that shameless woman this time. Nobody will stand in her way.
Today Stephanie Plum will be dead.
And she will no longer be Emily Hasting, the quiet and plain part-time librarian. She will soon become Mrs. Joseph Morelli and move in the cozy lovely two-story house just right across the narrow street. She will sit on his chewed up couch. She will walk his big playful dog. She will wash his clothes. She will cook him meals. She will bake him cakes. She will sleep in his bed. She will be his wife. And he will love her back.
Yes, today Stephanie Plum will be dead.
Yay.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Stephanie Plum unlocks the door, takes a look at her messy apartment and sighs. What has she done to deserve this crazy and fucked-up life? She has no goals, no motivation, no ambition, no money, no decent car, no dreams, no whatever. She knows she's not happy with herself, but she tries hard not to think too much of that. She just wants to drift through a day and then another. She just wants to catch enough skips, pay her rent, and keep a blind eye on all the problems and issues she has to face one day. And yes, BTW, she loves and sleeps with two men.
She drops a couple grapes into her pet hamster's cage. Yes, a cage, a brand new cage. The old glass aquarium fell to the kitchen floor and cracked last weekend. Luckily Rex wasn't hurt. Luckily Ranger was here to help her save Rex. Luckily Ranger spent the night here in her bed that night. Yay. Stephanie grabs a beer from the fridge and sits on her battered couch. It wasn't her fault, really. It's flat-out impossible to say NO!to Ranger. Besides, she loves to have him in her bed. Her narrow queen size bed. His hard, perfect, muscular body pressed to hers. Their legs entwined. Their arms around each other. His smooth skin. His soft warm lips. His silky hair. His dark brown eyes...
And Joe has just called her and said, "Bob misses you, Cupcake." half an hour ago. Which means he will come over tonight(with a large pizza and a six-pack of beer, of course) for some hot steaming wild animal sex.
She gulps down the beer and closes her eyes, suddenly feeling sick and tired. No. She's not a whore. No. She's not a slut. She's pretty sure of that. She just can't decide what she really wants and whom she truly loves. She's not sure if she wants to get married and have kids with Morelli. She's not sure if she wants to have a serious relationship with Ranger, the Man of Mystery. She knows she always wants and loves Ranger. But right now she's not even sure if she really loves Joe.
Sometimes she can't help thinking he's too hairy(she's never a big fan of apes and monkeys, sorry). Sometimes she can't help worrying that their kids will end up like him(luring little girls into Joe's dark garage, talking them out of their panties ten years later and writing about it on public bathroom walls? Geez!) What's the point keeping their unhealthy on-and-off relationship alive when both of them are unable to commit? It's just that everyone—her childhood friends, her neighbors, her relatives—seems to want them to be together:

Joe is your first in just about everything, Stephanie. You are no longer pure. You are already ruined. You may as well brace yourself and marry him. He's familiar. He's white. He's Italian. He's a changed man now. He's a living part of your history. He already has a house and a dog. He's in need of a wife and several kids. What are you waiting for, Lucky Girl? You are not young any more, don't you know? The ClOCK won't stop ticking.
People's eyes silently say. People's smile politely implies. And all these pressure and stress and expectation are giving her a headache and killing her. Stephanie blows out a sigh and covers her eyes.
How she wishes she has an answer for her messed-up life.
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Does he really want to have kids? Does he really to get married? Is he really waiting for Stephanie? Will he jump up and down in joy and cheer if Stephanie tells him she has made up her mind and wants to marry him? Hell, he has no idea. He's Joe Morelli. He's a man in his mid-thirties. He enjoys playing games and gambling with life and refuses to settle down and get really serious. He has a dog. He has a house. He's a good man. He's a cop. He has stable life and steady income.
So what?
Does that mean he has no choice but to go with the flow and marry Stephanie—a thirty-something woman who's no good at cooking, baking and cleaning? Yes, she's cute and fun to be with. Yes, she's sometimes adventurous in bed and sexy. Yes, she's different and thus attractive. But she has a lot of shortcomings as well as a crazy family. They don't fight as much as they used to because they are both tired and have no strength for it. They talk about the Burg rumours and gossips instead of their thoughts and feelings because that will be too awkward and uncomfortable. The sex is as good as usual. Pizzas. Beers. Hockey games on TV. The familiar and best foreplays. And they both try their best not to talk about Ranger.
Of course they talk about Ranger's mystery cars and his muscular minions. Of course they talk about how to get Ranger to help him or the TPD solve a case or catch Stephanie's FTAs for her. Of course they joke about Ranger's compulsive need to keep Stephanie safe from time to time. But no, they don't talk about Ranger's relationship with Stephanie.
Why? Because It's too god damn complicated.
Joe Morelli sighs a sigh and rubs his eyes. He's a busy man, a devoted police detective. He wants a promotion and is in need of a pay raise. He has crimes to fight and bad guys to catch. He really truthfully doesn't have time for trivials and insignificant stuffs. He doesn't mind having Ranger protecting, saving and helping Stephanie out. Let's face it: Ranger has the money and the manpower and knows just how to get the job done. Joe Morelli takes a bite of his doughnut and smiles. He finishes his lunch with the smile intact on his face and puts his concentration back on the case at hand.
And Stephanie will always come back to his bed at the end of the day no matter what. That's what matters right now.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Yes, it is her dream to marry(in a lovely, spectacular and grand church with a long history, of course) the man she loves with all her soul and all her heart and let him control and dominate their life and make all the decisions(what to have at dinner, how many children, etc. Oh how sweet is that?) while she irons his underwear and takes care of all his needs. Emily Hasting sits behind the counter, pleasantly nods, smiles and exchanges greetings with the readers, and secretly thinks to herself. She dreams to rest her head upon his shoulder and run her hand through his dense chest hair. She dreams to inhale the intoxicating scent of garlic, beer and cheese in his breath when he whispers in her ear in Italian.
Yes, she wants to be his Cupcake. His one and only Cupcake. Soft and moist. Sweet and easy. Gooey and buttery on top. Airy and fluffy inside. And full of promises. A miniature of ever-lasting happiness. Loving. And tender. Yes, she knows all about his past. The trips to his father's(God rest his soul in peace) old dark garage when he was eight years of age. The visits to the back of the high school gym. The adventures in the empty bathrooms. The amazing moments in the back of his cousin's second-hand car. And, of course, all those writings and poems on the walls.
But none of them matters. She knows all along Joseph was a bad boy(and maybe still is judging from what she has learned over the years). His dark past only makes her love him more. The torments he went through. The inner struggles. The pain of being a fatherless child. And the unbearable agony of being misunderstood. He was just a innocent curious boy. He was just a healthy teenage boy. He had longings. He had needs. He was no juvenile criminal.
And she wants to be the woman who changes him forever. With her love. Just like in the romances and fairy tales. She will be the most special woman who lights up his life. She will be the most precious woman who proves to the world that a man can and will change once he finds true love. Emily places a shaking hand on her chest and takes a deep breath to calm herself. She then looks up at the ancient clock on the wall and smiles. She grabs her bag, stands up from her chair and says goodbye to her co-workers. It's twelve sharp. If she drives a little bit faster than she usually does, Stephanie Plum will be dead within an hour.
Yay.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Emily Hasting smiles her most charming and beautiful smile as her misty gray eyes fall upon Stephanie Plum's sorry excuse of a car. The old three-story building is as shabby as ever, and somehow looks even more dilapidated than usual under the bright sunlight. The parking lot is almost empty now. The old folks are all out having fun. And Stephanie Plum, the two-bit bounty hunter who hasn't been able to bring in one single FTA for 9 days now that the tall Cuban is out of town(no doubt committing crimes), will be home eating leftovers from her poor mother's dinner table for lunch—her very last meal, as a matter of fact.
Yes, Emily is always ready and prepared. She, of course, knows Stephanie Plum's daily schedule by heart, and chose this particular time to execute the Plan for a very good reason. She's such a truthful, reasonable, kind and nice person. She has never ever tried to hurt an insect or any small animal on purpose. And naturally she wanted to make sure there will be no casualty of war when she gets rid of that shameless incompetent woman who cheats on her sweetest dearest Joseph with that colored man. She has a most fragile and tender heart. She can't stand watching innocent people get hurt.
It's time. Let's roll. Elizabeth, the happy little voice dwelling inside Emily's mind gaily whispers. The streets are empty. Nobody will see us. Stephanie Plum will be dead. That colored man will soon follow. And then Joseph will be ours! OURS!
She obediently nods. Elizabeth is right, as always. She checks her gun. She checks her knife. She checks the most exquisite bombs she made all by herself. God bless the Internet and all those wonderful and amazing people who selflessly teach everything on-line for free. She grabs the equipment, gets out of the car and heads for her destination.
Just another day. Just another explosion. And this time Stephanie Plum won't be able to escape her fate. Emily Hasting, the future Mrs. Joseph Morelli and happy mother of six most beautiful little Cupcakes, will see to that.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Chapter 7
I can't keep on doing this.
I can't keep on living like this.
I know whom I love.
I know whom I want.
I am just lying to myself and playing stupid.
And I have been doing that for years.
Why? Because I'm too afraid that he won't want me or love me back. And I can't blame him, really. Let's be honest. Let's be realistic. Why will someone like him want to be with someone like me? I am Stephanie Plum, the Queen of Denial. I am Trenton's very own bounty hunter from HELL. I never put bullets in my gun. I never check if my stun gun is fully charged. I blow up cars and houses like no one else. I more than often rely on my backups to do my job and keep me alive. I don't cook. I don't clean. I can't even afford a decent car. I never think of getting myself some training. I can't get myself out of an unhealthy relationship. I always crawl back to Joe Morelli, the man I have known all my life but not sure if I've ever loved. Always. And I don't even know why.
Is it out of habit?
Is it out of stupidity?
Is it because of lack of courage?
Is it because I'm lazy?
Or is it just because he's white, Italian, familiar and...white?
Stephanie Plum holds her head in both hands and asks herself. The table clock her aunt sent her as wedding present keeps on ticking. Rex keeps on running and his hamster wheel keeps on squeaking. And all Stephanie can hear is her own breathing. All of a sudden she's so tired. Tired of herself. Tired of her lies. Tired of her excuses. Tired of breathing. Tired of living. Tired of her very own stupidity.
So why will Ranger want to have a relationship with me?
Why will a man like Ranger want a woman like me?
How can Ranger love me the way I want him to love me?
He's not insane.
He's not stupid.
He's Batman.
He's the Man of Mystery.
He's the proud owner of a successful security company.
And I am Stephanie Plum. The Bounty Hunter from Hell. I don't like guns. I have no bullets. I have a pet hamster who bites me whenever I try to pat him. I have killed several men who wanted to kill me. I am still in a relationship with the hairy man who broke into my home, cuffed me naked to my own shower curtain rod, and trashed whatever I had. And he's coming over tonight with pizza and beer. And he expects me to let him fuck me as if I am a bitch.
Stephanie Plum closes her eyes and thinks of her fucked-up sorry excuse of a life for a long, long minute. Then she stands up from her couch, goes into he tiny kitchen and grabs Rex's brand new cage—the cage Ranger bought for her blood-thirsty hamster, and gets out of her small shabby apartment. She can't keep on doing this. She can't keep on living like this. She knows whom she always loves. She knows whom she always wants. And she can't keep on lying to herself.

She has had enough.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Chapter 8
The small dirty shabby apartment is now empty. A beer bottle stands all alone on the tattered coffee table. The air smells of dust and negligence. And Stephanie Plum, the woman Emily Hasting despises and hates like no other, is nowhere to be seen. Her rat of a pet is also gone. A couple pairs of old torn jeans and several stained t-shirts quietly lie on the floor. Shoes—high-heels and sneakers alike—remain scattered everywhere. The slightly tacky-looking table clock keeps on ticking. The locks tumble. The front door silently opens. A slender shadow cautiously sneaks in on tiptoes. With a gun in its steady hand. It's a Glock 19. Stephanie's car key, along with her stun gun, handcuffs, two packs of Tastykakes, a half-full tube of mascara and a half-empty tube of lip-gloss, stays hidden unnoticed inside her shoulder bag the moment Emily Hasting lets out an inhuman growl of utter anger and frustration.
Yes, both Emily and Elizabeth resent surprises and changes of plans.
Stephanie Plum keeps on walking. For once she chose to walk down the stairs of her apartment instead of taking the elevator. She didn't want to risk running into the ever so kind old Mrs. Bestler. She did forget about her car key in her sudden rush to leave, but she didn't want to climb all the way back up for it. She didn't and still doesn't want to go back into her apartment. It reminds her too much of her mess of a life and fucked-up relationship. So she decided to walk. All the way to Haywood. All the way to RangeMan. All the way to Ranger.
She feels the sun in her face. It's warm but not scorching. She feels the summer breeze. It's neither cool nor refreshing. She breathes in the familiar Jersey air. She listens to the noises of the traffic. She watches the cars fly by. 18-wheelers. Trucks. Fords, Hondas, and a few Audis. Rex is still hiding inside his hamster cave. And she has Ranger's keys with her. They are all she needs.
Detective Morelli ends the phone call, swallows the last bite of his lunch and stands up from the messy desk. Thanks to the ever alert and diligent FBI, his afternoon is now free. He's going to has some quality time with Stephanie. And though he's still unsure if he really wants to get married and have kids, he knows for a fact that they are both going have a lot of fun. And maybe he does love Stephanie. He smiles and thinks to himself. She always reminds him of cupcakes. So soft. So fluffy. Full of fun. A miniature of pleasure. So sweet. And so easy.
A shining black car stops by the side of the road. The tall dark muscular driver clad in black hits the horn. Stephanie Plum turns to looks at him, smiles, and then gets in.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Should she place the bombs as planned? Should she hide in the dark shadow with her knife and gun and wait? Where did Stephanie Plum go? Why isn't Stephanie Plum here? Why isn't Stephanie Plum on the narrow queen-size bed taking her usual nap? Is this a bad omen? Should she abort the mission, retreat, make another plan and wait for another day?
Emily Hasting frowns and quickly thinks. She has church choir practice at two o'clock and community volunteers meeting at three twenty-five(yes, she always arrives five minutes earlier to set out the iced tea she made and the cupcakes she baked. Everybody loves her cupcakes. They are always, always perfectly baked. And she makes the best iced tea. Ever). Emily proudly and modestly smiles. Yes, she knows she's a most amazing and talented woman. Yes, she knows she needs to find a way to vent all her rage, frustration and disappointment. She may be brave, pleasant and intelligent, but she's honestly no saint. However, she's never the kind of foolish shallow woman who makes hasty decisions when angered and then regrets when comes to her senses and finds out it's too late. Emily narrows her eyes. Elizabeth purses her lips. And together they evaluate the situation.
Stephanie Plum's car is still down there in the parking lot. Stephanie Plum's fake Gucci shoulder bag is right here on the couch. And she doesn't have any new stalkers. Maybe she went over to a neighbor's? Surely she didn't go far. Surely she will be back anytime. Surely they can wait for her to return...and kill her. Emily smiles. Elizabeth grins. And surely they are the best partners. Ever.
Joe Morelli taps his fingers on the wheel and hums along with the radio. The weather is perfect. The air is fresh. The blue sky reminds him of the six-year-old Stephanie's trusty eyes. And he's going to get laid. Yay. He likes his life. He enjoys his job. And he loves to look straight into people's(mostly his old friends and neighbors) eyes and tell them "I am a changed man now". It makes him feel like he's the king of the world, not the son of a notorious drunkard and child beater. He sings along as Nicki Minaj's Starships starts to play.
He likes Nicki Minaj. She's cute, sexy and hot. Whether her boobs are fake or not. He sings and smiles and suddenly remembers the fear and shock in Stephanie's eyes and the thrill and lust that rushed through his veins the moment he cuffed her to the shower curtain rod. He licks his lips. Sometimes he likes doing it quick. Sometimes he likes doing it rough. Sometimes he really believes he does love Stephanie Plum. And sometimes he can't help wishing she can be wilder in bed and her breasts can be larger. Joe Morelli turns his car into Stephanie's parking lot.
As large as Nicki Minaj's.
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Chapter 10
She looks tired and a little bit anxious. Her smile is happy but small. Her hamster is still in hiding. She doesn't know there's a tracker inside the key ring he gave her. He keeps on driving and doesn't say a word. They are both used to his silence. He hasn't had lunch yet. They are heading to his apartment. She lets out a tiny sigh and starts to fidget. She wishes she knows how to phrase her confession. He's the younger son of a big family. He has an ex-wife and a daughter who everyone says looks just like him. Everyone in the world knows he's no family material. He enjoys his freedom and his solitude. He doesn't want children. He doesn't do relationship. He doesn't need burden. He once told her maybe someday he will change. She has no idea if someday is anywhere near.
And she's afraid to ask.
They both know she's being a coward. They both know she never feels comfortable out of her comfort zone. They both choose to say nothing, ignore it and live on with their lives. She runs straight into Denial Land without a backward glance whenever she feels scared and unsafe. She doesn't know what she really wants in and for her life. She doesn't want to be a disappointment. A disappointment to her mother. A disappointment to her father. A disappointment to her family. A disappointment to her friends and neighbors. A disappointment to all the people who have ever seen her picture on TV or in the newspapers. She wants to be somebody. She wants to be nobody. She wants to be different. She hates being too different. She hates being average and normal. She can't help wanting to be average and normal. She doesn't want to be lonely. She can't stand living under the same roof with another human being for more than three months. Stephanie Plum silently thinks of the problems of her life and suddenly wants to slap herself.
She hates feeling stupid. She hates feeling intimidated. She's in love with the tall quiet man sitting right by her side and still she dares not say a word to him. About her love. About her lust. About her dreams. About her fears. About her hopes, her wishes, her regrets and her mistakes. What if he doesn't want her? What if he doesn't need her? What if he doesn't love her? What if whatever they have between them is something that comes with condoms instead of two wedding rings? What if she can't have what she want? What if she can't have the man she loves? What if she has no choice but to go back to Morelli and spend the rest of her miserable life with him? What if...what if...
She closes her eyes tight and refuses to think. Her body starts trembling slightly. Ranger's hand reaches across the space between them and takes hold of hers. He doesn't say a word. And somehow all of a sudden she feels better. Safer. And braver.
The sleek sexy powerful Porsche 911 Turbo turns into the RangeMan underground garage. Stephanie's crappy rusty car and her small shabby untidy apartment blow up at exactly the same time. And people around the world are still unsure if Nicki Minaj's breasts are real or not.
A/N: Tomorrow is an off-day. There will be no update. Take care. Have fun. Keep you fingers crossed if you must.
Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Chapter 11
What is wrong to want to be loved? What is wrong to want the man you love for yourself? What is wrong to want to punish the bad and right the wrong? Emily Hasting drives away from the smoking apartment and contemplates to her laughing self. She didn't want to be late to her church choir practice(she's always the first to arrive), so she decided not to wait for Stephanie Plum and then planted the time-bombs. Her hands were shaking when she placed one under the narrow queen-size bed. And she had to bite her lips till she tasted blood as unpleasant images of her Joseph and that shameless woman flew through her mind. She may be a virgin but she's not naïve, thank you very much. Of course she knows Joseph has needs. He's a man, a healthy attractive sexy grown up man. And it's only sex. There's no love involved. She's sure of that. She can see it in Joseph's eyes when he looks at Stephanie Plum. She can see his lust. She can see his desire. But there's never love. Never.
NEVER.
Joe Morelli's car screeches to a stop when he sees the black smoke coming out of Stephanie's apartment and parking lot. His eyes narrow. His lips thin. His knuckles whiten around the wheel. He watches another driver gape and stare for a full minute before pulling out her cell phone and call 911. He wants to laugh. He wants to yell. He feels his anger rising. He wants to shake some sense into Stephanie Plum or punch someone or kill some unlucky bastard with his own bare hands. He can already see his fellow detectives' and officers' grins and smiles. He can already see friendly betting money change hands. He can already hear all those familiar jokes in his head. His mother will call. His aunts will call. His brother and sister and cousins will call. They will want to know what is wrong with Stephanie Plum.
Why can't she settle down and marry him? They will want to know. Why can't she quit her job and start a family with him? Why does she choose her sorry excuse of a life over you, Joseph? Why? WHY? Is there something wrong with you, Joseph? No, wait! It has something to do with the tall dark handsome mysterious Cuban man who drives expensive German cars and owns his own company, doesn't it, Joseph? Tell us the truth, tell us!
"Shut up!"
Joe Morelli snarls and smashed a fist against the driver's side window. No. He can't take it any more. He has had enough. It's time for Stephanie to make her decision. It's time for him to make a choice. He's too old too tired and too disgusted to keep on playing this game. This endless meaningless third-rate joke of a game. He restarts the car and steps on the gas. He and Stephanie is going to have a serious talk.
Now.
Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Stephanie Plum's smile falters as a drop of silent tear starts to fall. She wishes no one gets hurt in the fire. She knows this time her landlord will finally drop to his knees and beg her to move out. Weirdos. Sickos. Criminals. Bombs. Fires. Blown-up apartment and blown-up cars. The things her life is made of. She makes enemies everywhere she goes. Destructions and dangers prevail. Happiness and success never last. No doubt she is called the bounty hunter from Hell. Trenton's very own Failure and Joke. She's a threat to all her neighbors' safety and lives. It's a miracle that both she and Rex are still alive. And now enough is enough. She tries to wipe away her tears. She's suddenly hungry and bone tired. It took all the courage she had to leave her apartment and come to Ranger. And now she has to go back. To face reality and deal with what she desperately wants to leave behind. Her tears just won't stop. She hasn't had the chance to look straight into Ranger's eyes and tell him she loves him.
And she's afraid she's going to stop being honest and brave this very minute.
Emily Hasting hears the distant sound of the sirens and once again laughs. She's sorry she didn't get to put an end to Stephanie Plum's miserable life. But she's a lovely and patient woman, and Stephanie Plum is ever so careless. There will always be chances. And both she and Elizabeth did have a great time when the bombs went off. Next time, next time she will put a bullet through that cheating slut's heart and make her feel Joseph's pain. Emily promises herself. Then Elizabeth can have some fun with that sharp hunting knife. Elizabeth is very very good with knives. And they will set off the bombs after that. To erase all the evidences. To leave the message that has been screaming in their head for years. Thou shalt not cheat. Emily gracefully nods her head as Elizabeth solemnly whispers in her ears. Besides, they both like bombs. The flame. The heat. The sound. The power.
Yum.
Joe Morelli leans against his car and grits his teeth as the firemen jump out of their trucks and set to work. He can barely contain his anger and impatience as he waits for his everlasting on-and-off girlfriend to call him back. He looks up and frowns at the shattered second-floor windows. He's a police detective. He's not a trained fireman. He knew it would be safer and wiser to wait and leave it to the professionals. But still he got out of his car and ran into the building to find Stephanie. He had no choice, really. People would be asking a lot of unpleasant questions if he did not. And he couldn't say he was not worried about Stephanie. Her car was burning in the parking lot right in front of his eyes. Where is Stephanie? He wonders. She's not here. She's not at her parents'. She's not at her sister's. She's not at Mary Lou's. She's not with Connie or Lula. And Ranger is out of town.
So where can she be?
Joe Morelli narrows his eyes as the Porsche 911 Turbo turns into the parking lot and stops. He takes a deep breath to calm himself as Ranger helps Stephanie get out. His face darkens as Ranger wraps an arm around Stephanie. His lips contorts as Stephanie reaches out and grabs hold of Ranger's hand. He looks at them. He doesn't blink. He can't feel a thing. And he doesn't know what to think. Are they friends? Are they co-workers? Are they lovers? Is that lust? Is that trust? Or is that love?
Love? Joe Morelli almost laughs an unsure laugh. What a word. Love. Silently he repeats the word in his head. And somehow it tastes bitter on the tip of his tongue. Yes, he can see what is coming. And he doesn't like it. At all.
Chapter 13: Chapter 13
Chapter 13
The moment Stephanie grabs hold of Ranger's hand, the corner of his lips curls up and he almost smiles. It's both easy and hard to love a woman like Stephanie Plum. She never feels comfortable openly showing her affections. She's never honest about her feelings though she can never hide the longings and desires in her eyes. He sometimes wonders what she truly wants from him and herself. She comes to him whenever she's in need. He gives her cars. He gives her protection. He gives her pleasure. He gives her help. She goes back to Joe Morelli once her problems are solved. It feels like he's playing with someone else's pet. Around them the firemen busily keep on working. Another police patrol car arrives. The uniform cops cast a glance at their direction and grin. Joe Morelli's frown grows darker and deeper. He's apparently upset. And Ranger, as usual, doesn't give a damn what Morelli thinks, wants and needs.
Joe Morelli. A thirty-something Trenton police detective. The man who grew up in the same neighborhood with Stephanie. Who is he exactly? A good man? A changed man? A smart and decent man who managed to escape a vicious family curse? Or a sly and lazy man who wants comfortable familiar easy sex instead of a committed relationship that eventually comes with obligations, burdens and a wedding ring? Does Morelli even know what he wants from Stephanie? Is Morelli willing and able to give Stephanie what she really needs? Can the two of them think things through, have a rational talk about their unhealthy on-and-off relationship and then walk away from it?
Ranger gently tightens his arm and gathers Stephanie nearer as he feels the warmth of her much smaller hand. She will always have a place in his heart. But does he have enough room for her in his everyday life? Does he want Stephanie to become an essential part of his world? Is she ready for a serious relationship? Is he ready for another marriage? Are they ready for babies? Will she have the courage to look at his eyes and tell him she loves him? Will she want to have him in her life?
And will she be able to quit Joe Morelli?
He raises his brow slightly at Stephanie when she looks up at him with a feeble smile. She's nervous, tired, and hungry. But she's also determined. She has something to tell him. She has something to say to Joe Morelli. She has made up her mind. She has chosen her path. Together they walk forward as a grim-looking Morelli pushes himself off his car.
There will be no turning back.
Chapter 14: Chapter 14
Chapter 14
Emily Hasting walks into the church with a bright smile on her happy face. She's the first one to arrive, as usual. And once again she gets to park her car in her favorite parking spot. She has always been a good Catholic girl, and she loves the calm serenity of the church. She feels she's very near to God whenever she comes here. And she just loves to be surrounded by all those good and kind honest people who like to share jokes and gossips with everyone and anyone. She will light a candle for her Joseph when the choir practice is over. Both she and Elizabeth firmly believe that all good deeds will be rewarded by the Lord. And all the evil, shameless and treacherous people will be punished and burn in Hell. Just like Stephanie Plum and that tall Cuban. Both Emily and Elizabeth cross themselves.
They can never understand Stephanie Plum. All the terribly stupid choices and decisions she made. All the shameless lies she told. All the unforgivable sins she committed. Does she really have a functioning brain? Does she really have no shame? What was she thinking cheating on Joseph? He's such a fine handsome man. He has a respectable job and a promising future. Besides, he's white and Italian. And everyone knows he's Stephanie's first. What was she thinking sleeping with a dark-skinned man? He's a dangerous thug. He's an outsider. He's not one of them. He will never be one of them. Doesn't Stephanie care about what decent people will think? Doesn't Stephanie care about what decent people will say? Doesn't Stephanie know that she should marry her own kind?
Emily Hasting wraps her arms around herself and feels ill. She feels so, so sorry for her poor Joseph. He deserves a much better and way more faithful woman than Stephanie Plum. She closes her eyes, takes a ragged breath and tries to calm herself. She can't stand the abnormal and sickening relationship between Stephanie Plum and that colored man. She can't stand the foolishness. She can't stand the tackiness. She can't stand the shamelessness. She can't stand Stephanie Plum. She's going to punish Stephanie Plum. She's going to delete Stephanie Plum from Joseph's life. She'll strike with deadly accuracy and power. Just like an avenging angel. Beautiful and merciless.
And then Joseph will finally learn to know her, to love her, and to cherish her. He will take her to his father's old dark garage. He will take her virginity on a cold hard floor. He will cuff her naked to her shower curtain rod. He will ravish her. He will destroy her. He will burn her with his hungry and furious passion. He will resurrect her, recreate her, and wrap her around his ring finger. He will realize that they belong to each other. They will live happily ever after. Like the prince and his princess in the fairy tale.
Emily and Elizabeth smile and together they say a silent prayer. Yes, the Almighty Lord will help them overcome all the obstacles. They will kill Stephanie Plum and that tall Cuban. Justice and true love shall prevail.
Chapter 15: Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Why did she follow Joe Morelli all the way into his father's dark smelly garage that lazy summer afternoon? Why did she give herself to him on the hard cold floor that raining night? Why did she open her door and let him in when he came knocking on her door with her pizza in his hand? Why did she choose to forgive the savage smirk on his face when he cuffed her to her shower curtain rod? Why did she shrug at the memories of him trashing her apartment and jumping out of the meat truck trying to smack her face? Why did she tell herself "He was just angry. It's no big deal"? Why did she decide to have sex with him again after all those things and all those years? Why did her heart skip a beat when he told his mother and grandma they were engaged? Why did her heart crack and break when he said "There's I, and there's you, but there's no us"?
And why couldn't she stop wanting Ranger when they were back together?
And why am I feeling old and numb and tired when looking into his eyes?
She listens to the last breath of the dying flame and for the very last time asks herself. She already knows the answer. She just needs to be sure and confirm the answer. She just needs to muster enough courage to say it out loud. She was raised to be considerate and kind. She was taught to be polite and nice. She has been told time and time again that love is overrated. A steady income that comes with a respectable job is what really matters. All she has to do is to put dinner on the table on time every night and give birth to children to carry on the family name. Just like her mother and sister. Just like her aunts and cousins. Just like her grandmothers and great grandmothers. Know your rightful place, fulfill your duty as a woman/wife/mother and cherish all the little happiness and wonder in your ordinary average everyday life. Till the day you die. Even if you are not really alive.

And that's not the life she wants. Now she's sure of that. She wants to spend the rest of her life with someone she can't live without. She's willing to make adjustments and sacrifices for someone she trusts and loves. Someone who is always there for her. Someone who helps, guilds and protects her. Someone who never hesitates to bled money and blood for her. Someone who never asks anything in return. Someone who loves her in his own way. Someone whose actions are louder than words. Someone she has been in love with for years. Someone who is standing right beside her.
Ranger.
Joe Morelli clenches his jaw. He doesn't like the look in his girlfriend's eyes. He doesn't like the Mocha Latte muscular arm wrapped around her shoulders. He doesn't like to be a loser. He doesn't like to be a joke. He doesn't like to go down without a fight. He doesn't like to change his plan and sleep alone. He wants his pizza, his beer, his Yankees game and hot steaming balls-to-the-wall wild animal sex. He wants his woman back in his bed. It's not over until he says it's over.
But deep down somewhere in his heart, he knows he wants to turn around and walk away from Stephanie Plum. Without a backward glance.
Chapter 16: Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Helen Plum holds her head in her hands. Once again her younger daughter became the center of unwanted attention. Once again all kinds of outrageous rumours, irresponsible lies and exaggerated stories fly around the city. Once again she feels the irresistible urge to whack her head against her dining table and ask God, "Why me?". What has she done wrong to deserve this? Helen wants to know. She just wants Stephanie to have a steady and normal life. She just wants Stephanie to stop chasing dangerous people and tempting death. She just wants Stephanie to be safe and come to her senses. Why can't Stephanie quit her job and settle down with Joseph? She's already in her thirties. She has had a failed marriage. She can't make a decent living. She has no goals and ambitions. She and Joseph have been playing the cat and mouse game for ages. Why can't she think things through and do something with her mess of a relationship? Why can't she walk away and find someone else if Joseph is not the right man for her?
Helen exhales a tired sigh. She's not going to live forever. Who's going to take care of her Peter Pan of a grown-up child when she's gone? Who's going to call Stephanie and ask her if she's alright when her car or apartment is firebombed? Who's going to wash and iron Stephanie's clothes when she runs out of clean clothes? Who's going to bake Stephanie pineapple upside down cakes when she's upset? Who's going to take Stephanie in and cook her meals when she needs a place to stay? And who's going to run over the bad guy in the rabbit suit when she's in danger?
Helen Plum crosses herself and says a silent prayer. Once again she prays that her prayer will be answered and her younger daughter can finally find true happiness.
Emily Hasting sings along with everyone else and keeps a pleasant smile on her face. She has straight shoulder-length light brown hair and a sweet innocent voice. She has secret dreams and desperate hopes. She has two knives, a gun and three time-bombs in her car. She prays a silent prayer as she sings the beautiful hymn. She too prays that her prayer will be answered and the man she loves will love her back.
Joe Morelli coldly casts a glance at Ranger and focuses his attention back on Stephanie Plum.
Stephanie leans in closer to Ranger's side and looks at Morelli in his darkened eyes. She's a bit nervous. She's never good at confrontation, and she knows Morelli is upset. Narrowed eyes. Clenched fists. Tightened jaw. The hidden anger in his posture is so easy to detect. Maybe he will feel hurt and humiliated after hearing what she has to say. But whatever they have between them has to end. It's never really alive. And now it's finally and officially dead. She's in love with Ranger. And she can't keep on lying to herself. She has tried marriage once and it failed like a farce. She thought she could settle for someone handsome and familiar but she was wrong. And now she prays she will finally find true happiness. With the man she really needs and truly loves.
Even if his love won't come with a diamond ring.
Chapter 17: Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Just how many bad guys are after Stephanie Plum? The firemen and the uniform cops shake their heads in disbelief and silently sigh. They all know and like Stephanie Plum. She's friendly, different and fun. They have learned to respect her choice and sort of admire her courage to lead an unconventional life. But sometimes they can't help wishing she can consider changing her job. The fire in the apartment is finally put out. The small bedroom is totally ruined. Everything inside is burned to a crisp, just like the sizzling smoking relic of the car down in the parking lot. The landlord and the superintendent have been informed. Luckily no one was inside the building at the time of the fire. Stephanie will have to buy new furniture and new clothes, and find herself a new place to live.
And it seems this time she is not going to move into Joe Morelli's small two-story house.
What's Stephanie going to say to him? Joe Morelli wonders to himself. "Joe, I'm sorry"? "Joe, it's over"? "Joe, it's not going to work between us"? "Joe, I will always love you, but I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved"? Or "Joe, I love you, but I'm not in love with you"? Will she cut the crap and simply say, "Joe, I'm leaving you for Ranger's money and cars"? And what the fucking Hell does "I love you but I'm not in love with you" mean exactly? Has she ever loved him? Has he ever loved her? Have they ever been in love with each other? Or were they just being too tired and too lazy and thus settled for someone familiar and easy to make everybody happy?
He looks into Stephanie's ocean blue eyes, confirms his assumption and eerily wants to bark out a laugh. The brave and skilled firemen and his fellow brothers in blue are watching, but he doesn't care. All the lies they said. All the excuses they made. All the charades. All the games. All the pizzas. All the beer. All the yelling. All the arm-waving. All the accusing. All the make-up sex. No. It's not about love. It's about loneliness. It's about needs. It's about desires. It's about lust. Somehow love is never involved.
Morelli knows what he has to do. He has no other choice. He hates being a loser. He always wants to be a winner. He has to say goodbye, turn around and walk away. He has to leave the stage with dignity and grace. He has to be the one who breaks away. But a part of him wants to fight. A part of him wants to stay. A part of him wants things to stay the same. A part of him wants to feel her soft warm body next to him in his bed. He opens his mouth to speak, but Stephanie's tiny shaky yet crystal clear voice has already sounded.
"I love you, Carlos Manoso."
Stephanie Plum turns to face the man she loves and says. Everything becomes quiet. Everything becomes still. She can't even hear her own heart beat or the blood rushing through her veins. She feels the heat of Ranger's body. She inhales the scent of his Bvlgari. She sees the sudden intensity in his darkened eyes. She gives him a weak timid smile. She has said what she wanted to say. Now she can only wait.
Chapter 18: Chapter 18
Chapter 18
"I love you, Carlos Manoso."
A confession of love. A revelation of truth. A baring of soul. A new beginning of life. And the end of a series of lies. Saying it must have been easier than Stephanie had thought, Ranger decides. She doesn't look overly nervous or afraid. And it seems she doesn't take notice of Joe Morelli's blazing gaze on her face. Is Morelli shocked? Or furious? Ranger feels a slight twinge of curiosity. But he honestly doesn't care.
He raises a hand, traces a finger along Stephanie's hair line and tucks a stray curl back behind her ear. He once told her he loves her in his own way. He always feels the need to protect her and keep her safe. She amazes him. She amuses him. She brightens up his days. Does he love her enough to change his life's path? Will she panic and run away once she has a clear look at the man behind Batman's mask? Who can she turn to should all things fail? Where can she go if they can't even remain friends? Should he take the risk? Should he take the chance?
He thinks about all the possible options. He searches his heart for the answer. He feels the sun on his face. He smells the lingering smoke in the air. He looks into her eyes and sees her fear. His fingertip senses the smoothness of her skin. He remembers her passion and longing. He likes her courage and resolution. And he makes his decision.
"I know." Quietly Ranger says and kisses Stephanie softly on her lips. With a barely there smile on his face.
Joe Morelli glares. The firemen and the police officers gasp. Helen Plum lets out another sigh. Emily Hasting sings another hymn. Bob the dog yawns. Rex the hamster runs on his wheel. And Stephanie Plum almost faints as the man she loves calmly adds, "I love you too, Stephanie Plum."
Chapter 19: Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Shcok. Rage. Anger. Exasperation. Annoyance. Disbelief. Hurt. Humiliation. The boiling volcano deep inside Joe Morelli foams and roars as the hot and stuffy world around him starts to spin. His balled fists tremble and tighten. His mouth hangs open and abruptly closes. He wants to scream out his fury. He wants to set free his frustration. He wants to punch and strangle and kill somebody with bare hands. He wants to yell and curse at the top of his lungs. He wants to grab and shake Stephanie. He wants to ask her how long she has been cheating on him. He wants to look up at the cloudless blue sky and ask God what has just happened. He doesn't want to believe his eyes. He can't believe his ears. He has just lost his Cupcake, the woman he from time to time thought he might truly love.
Surprise. Joy. Happiness. Gratefulness. Glee. Love. Relief. Stephanie Plum's whole universe brightens up and starts to twinkle like a Christmas tree. She feels she needs to say or do something, but somehow she can't think straight at this moment. "I love you too, Stephanie Plum." She can't tear her eyes off Ranger. She keeps hearing his words in her ears. She wants to place her hands on his muscular chest. She wants to feel the power, the strength, and the heat of his body. She wants to laugh. She wants to cheer. She wants to dance. She want to kiss him and melt into him. She looks at him unblinking. She's not sure if she's still breathing. Did she just looked into his eyes and see eternity?
Ricardo Carlos "Ranger" Manoso remains cool and calm. His lips curl up into a small dazzling smile as Stephanie puts a slightly shaking hand on his chest. He's happy with his decision. He doesn't want his life to be full of darkness and regrets. He looks into the clear shining eyes of the woman he loves. A part of his attention focuses on the upset frowning police detective standing only a few feet away from them. He knows Morelli's wrath is about to erupt.
But will the famous Burg Bad Boy make yet another wrong decision and choose to fight? He's curious to know.
Chapter 20: Chapter 20
Chapter 20
Frank Plum can't decide if he wants to get out of his car. He, like a lot of men his age, just wants to have some peace and quiet. He doesn't ask much of life. He never sees eyes to eyes with his mother-in-law. He seldom argues with his wife. He's happy and contented as long as his dinner is served on time every night. Frank lets out a sigh. One of his fellow cab drivers informed him of the fire, so he decided to come over and take a look. And now he's starting to regret his decision. He never understands his own daughters. He doesn't know what Valerie sees in Steve and Albert. He doesn't know what is going on between Stephanie and Joe Morelli. He has heard plenty of rumours about Stephanie and Ranger. He has no idea what his younger daughter really wants in her life. He sometimes wishes he has the courage to drive his car into the sunset, have dinner at a roadside diner, get a room in a cheap motel, sleep off all his boredom, and call home the next morning to say how much he enjoys his freedom and that he wants a divorce.
He sits helplessly behind the wheel watching the tension grow. He knows he's not a good father. He knows he's too much of a coward. He should have confronted the Morellis about their younger son's misbehavior. He should have punched Dickie Orr in the face and broken that cheating bastard's nose. He should have stepped up and protected his daughter. But he just ate his dinner and kept his silence and let his wife handle the situation. He's suddenly glad he has no sons. No man deserves to have a father like him. He's never good at confrontation. He's the reigning King of Denial. Everything is peachy and fine if he covers his ears and eyes. He looks at the tall dark muscular man and blinks back a tear. He knows Ranger will defend Stephanie. He knows Ranger has killed to protect Stephanie. He knows Joe Morelli should have been the one to get rid of Abruzzi. He knows Joe Morelli will never love Stephanie or the damn society enough to risk his career. Frank has seen and heard about everything. But he always keeps his silence and pretends he knows nothing.
And he hates himself for this.
Joe Morelli's eyes lock on Stephanie. His brain is blank and empty. He can feel the cold weight of his police-issued gun at the back of his waist. It will be quick and easy. She's never aware of her surroundings. One shot through her head and she will be dead. Nobody cheats on him. He's Joe Morelli, Trenton police detective, former Navy. He's the one who broke women's hearts after taking their virginity. He's the one who needs a pay raise and deserves a promotion. He's the one who now has a house and wants to start a family. He has his dreams. He has his pride. He can't be humiliated like this. His hand reaches for his gun on its own will. He knows people are watching. He knows Ranger is near. But he doesn't care.
Ex-special forces are overrated.
The uniform police officers sense trouble coming. They reach for their guns and start to yell. The firemen gawk. Frank Plum panics. No one actually sees what happens the next second. Joe Morelli is face down on the ground, unmoving. Stephanie Plum stands there and blinks twice in bewilderment. Ranger now has a gun in his hand. A police-issued 9mm gun. Joe Morelli's gun, as a matter of fact.
And he still looks calm and collected.
Chapter 21: Chapter 21
Chapter 21
It started as just another ordinary day in Stephanie's life. A dream she couldn't remember. A lukewarm shower. A trip to the office. A large cup of coffee. A couple of doughnuts. A "Bob misses you". A same dilemma. Then everything suddenly changed. She woke up and walked away. She came clean with her feelings and freed herself. And she's with Ranger now. She blinks again and takes a breath. Ranger hands the gun over to the uniform cops. The firemen let out a collective sigh. Joe Morelli stays unmoving on the ground. Stephanie's knees finally buckle. She falls into Ranger's waiting arms. A cold shudder creeps down her spine as she stares at Morelli's gun. A deadly weapon. An evidence of mad fury. A tool of irrational wrath.
Who did he try to shoot?
Who did he try to hurt?
Who did he try to kill?
What was he thinking?
Is he still breathing?
Did he just try to kill her?
Would he really take aim and pull the trigger?
What if Ranger got shot?
What if Ranger wasn't quick enough?
What if Ranger didn't strike that hard?
What if the gun accidentally went off?
Did Joe ever love her?
Did Joe actually love her?
Was it her fault?
"Babe," Ranger softly says.
Stephanie Plum closes her eyes and stops thinking about the price she has to pay for her love. She feels a little bit sad. She feels a little bit scared. But no, she feels no regret. And for the very first time in a very long while, she's happy and contented.
Emily Hasting's heart skips a beat. She places a hand over her chest and slightly frowns. What's this strange, unfamiliar feeling? Where did it come from? Is it a sign or an omen? Is it trying to tell her something? What happened? Something went wrong? Why is she feeling sick and uneasy? Emily loses her focus. She can't help feeling a little frightened and worried. Her voice falters and becomes a little shaky.
Concentrate! Keep singing! Elizabeth barks out a sharp order. The choir practice will be over in a little more than six minutes. We have to do our best till the very last second. We don't want to be a failure. We don't want to be a disappointment. We are always perfect. We shall always be perfect!
So she forces the smile back on her face and keeps on singing in her sweet clear voice. She's Emily Hasting, part-time librarian. She lives on the same street with the man she's been in love for years. She has a gun, two knives and three time-bombs hidden in her car. She's going to kill Stephanie Plum and that call Cuban. And one day, one day her precious Joseph will learn to know her and love her back.
Chapter 22: Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Detective Joe Morelli lies unconscious in his hospital bed. It is indeed his lucky day. After a quick check-up in the ER, he was soon given a private ward. A severe concussion. Several fractured bones. And possible minor memory loss. Stable, and not critical. He will wake up when his swollen brain and battered body decide the time is right. He's not going to become a vegetable or simply die. He may or may not face charges over attempted assault. He will be punished for his misconduct. He's such an ambitious and cautious guy. Some say he's clever. Some say he is sly. Some think he's a changed man. Some believe he is a fraud. But they all agree that anger management has always been his biggest flaw. What was he thinking trying to pull a gun on Stephanie when Ranger was there? What was he thinking deciding to avenge his injured pride in front of so many eye-witnesses? Did he not understand his impulsive action would only bring dire consequences? Did he not realize his foolishness and poor judgment might ruin his career?
Rumours fly. Stories spread. Mrs. Morelli and her mother-in-law cries and prays. Mrs. Plum, as usual, is still not answering the phone or the door. Those who attend the community volunteers meeting compare and exchange the details and sigh and gasp. They gulp down the perfectly sweetened iced tea. They chew and swallow the perfectly baked and decorated cupcakes. They WOW! and AH! and laugh and chat. Emily Hasting clenches her fists. Elizabeth starts to shake. This can't be real. This is all so wrong. This is so unfair. Stephanie Plum and that colored man are still very much alive. Her Joseph is badly hurt and in pain. Where is Justice? Where is Righteousness? Where is Right and Wrong? Where is Punishment? Where is Law? Where is Truth? Where is Love? Where is God?
Where is her Happily Ever After with Joseph?
Emily lets out a tiny ragged sob and falters. Elizabeth takes over. There is only one way to solve this problem. We have to strike hard. We have to act fast. We has a gun. We have two knives. We have three time-bombs. We have courage. We have determination. We have power. We have strength. We are Joseph's Cupcakes. Chocolate Marshmallow and Lemon Cherry Cheese. We are going to kill Stephanie Plum. We are going to kill her Ranger. We are going to get rid of them now. Then we will go home to make dozens and dozens of authentic traditional heavenly delicious cannolis and visit Joseph. He will fall in love with us after one bite. And he will be ours.
OURS!
Chapter 23: Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Elizabeth Hasting is a tough woman with iron-like will power and determination. She always wants to be perfect and the best. She hates losing. She despises losers. She doesn't cry. She never whines. She sets her goal and pursues it. Step by step. Hour by hour. Day by day. Year by year. Yes, she has courage. Yes, she has patience. She's the one who sets the course. She's the one who calls the shot. She's the one who allows Emily to handle the trifles. She's the one who allows Emily to moan secretly and dreamily and to drool a little whenever they see Joseph...Joseph, their ever so handsome and charming Joseph. Their ever so attractive and sexy Joseph. Their prince in shining armor. Their hot-blooded fun-loving thrill-seeking badass Italian Stallion. They are both hopelessly and madly in love with Joseph. They love and adore and worship everything about Joseph. They love his furry chest. They love his furry legs. They love his dazzling smile. They love his lean, not overly muscular body. They love his off-white teeth. They love the scar on his brow. They love the strong smell of garlic, beer and oregano in his breath. He is the man in their dream. He is their happiness. He is their heart. He is their life. He is their destiny. He will always, always have their love and loyalty. And now they are going to avenge him.
Nobody can beat him up. Nobody can knock him out. Nobody can humiliate him in public and put him in a coma. He is Joseph Anthony Morelli. He is Super Cop. He is Officer Hottie. He is good at bar fights. He knows how to finger girls in his father's garage. He knows how to sweet talk and charm girls and women out of their panties and take their virginity. He knows how to write the very best dirty poems on public bathroom walls. He has the best and furriest butt in whole Trenton. He is movie star handsome. He is humourous and fun. He is understanding and accepting. He is clever. He is smart. He is perfect, strong and tough. He is God's Christmas present to all mankind. And whoever hurts him shall pay the price. Whoever cheats on him shall be punished with death.
Emily nods her head vigorously as Elizabeth smiles. Everyone at the community volunteers meeting keeps joking, eating and chatting. No one takes notice of their departure. They get in their car and start the engine. They check their bombs, their knives, their gun and their delicate wrist watch. They know they have the recipe for cannoli somewhere in their files. They knows they have all the necessary ingredients in their well-equipped spotless modern kitchen. They know Joseph's ward number. Now all they have to do is drive over to that hideous seven-floored building and kill that Ranger and his Stephanie. Then all will be well.
Yay.
Chapter 24: Chapter 24
Chapter 24
Frank Plum can't stop trembling while giving his statement. He didn't call home. He knew his wife would not answer the phone. He looks pale and tired. His coffee and doughnuts remain untouched. He has never been so angry and scared before in his life. He almost collapsed and crumbled to the ground when he finally mustered enough strength to get out of his car. He is no stranger to guns and violence. He was a member of the U.S. Army. He has a gun and he lives in New Jersey. He has witnessed death more than once before. However, he never ever really has the military mentality. He doesn't like guns. He avoids fights and disputes at all costs. He just wants an uneventful life. Now as he sits still in the cheap uncomfortable chair, self-loathing, shame and guilt swallow him whole. His younger daughter could have been killed or severely injured right before his eyes. And there was nothing he could do. Nothing. The helplessness and fear he felt frighten him.
Stephanie Plum's cop friends don't know what to say. They feel they should say something to lighten the mood, but now is not the right time for jokes. They feel sorry for Stephanie Plum. They feel bad about what Joe Morelli attempted to do. They are glad Ranger was there. They know someone will always get hurt in a love triangle. But at lease the other two will have a chance for true happiness. So they hug her and pat her on the back. They smile as Frank Plum, with reddened eyes, gathers his daughter in his arms and shakes Ranger's hand. They ignore the calls from their curious friends, neighbors and family members. They are simply grateful and relieved that the never-ending melodrama known as the Cupcake Chronicles is now finally and officially over. Thank God for big favors. It had been dragging on for way too long.
The slender yet muscular Hispanic man and his man-mountain of a partner watch the monitor screens closely. The creamy yellow Toyota has just stopped and parked at the entrance of an alleyway across the street behind their building after circling this block for the fifth time. And there's something eerily suspicious about the woman driving the Prius. They have run the license plate in their database. They know her name, her job and her address. But they have no idea why she is here. They watch the part-time librarian getting out of her car. They watch her crossing the street. They have a really bad feeling about the baby pink duffle bag in her hand. They hear Tank bark out a command. They hear the muffled screams of a woman. They hear someone whistle. They hear someone curse. A Glock. Two knives. And three time bombs? What the Hell? Time to call Ranger.
Chapter 25: Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Emily screams and wails. Elizabeth fights and curses. Fear. Surprise. Anger. Humiliation. Disbelief. Terror. Desperation. Despair. All kinds of emotions boil inside the plain but always nice and polite Miss Hasting, part-time librarian, community volunteer, excellent chef, talented pâtissière, and lead singer of the church choir. She thinks of all her hopes and longings in life. She thinks of all the things she hates and loves. All her nightmares and dreams. All her ambitions and failures. All her glory and pride. All her contributions and sacrifices. All her hurt. All her pain. All her disappointment. All her shame. All her fake and forced smiles. All her silent sobs and hidden tears. All her lonely days. All her empty nights. All her struggles and desperate attempts.
What's so wrong to want to be loved by the man you love?
What's so wrong to want to have something you do not have?
What's so wrong to want to do the right thing and correct the wrong?
What's so wrong to want to step up for yourself and season your tasteless life?
Emily Elizabeth Rosemary Hasting looks up at heaven seeking an answer, but all she sees is a blur of shadows and colors. She barks out a shaky ragged laugh. She has failed her sacred mission. She has lost her ultimate purpose. She did not manage to kill Stephanie Plum. She did not manage to kill that tall Cuban. She's not going to have her own Happily Ever After with her Joseph. Her tall dark lean muscular fun kind humorous handsome dangerous perfect badass Joseph. She's not going to sit by his sick-bed and smile her most beautiful charming smile while watching him eat his cannolis. The best cannolis. The cannolis she now won't be able to make especially for him...
A drop of crystal tear falls down her cheek. Another one soon follows as her whole body shakes with unbearable sorrow. She's not going to be Joseph Anthony Morelli's Cupcake. His one and only and special and unique Cupcake. His yummy gooey soft fluffy sweet tasty Cupcake...
Chapter 26: Chapter 26
Chapter 26
The confession is disturbing, if not scary and chilling. The evidences are solid. The motive is clear. The time bombs are indeed most perfectly and exquisitely made. The poor delusional thirty-eight-year-old single slim white woman who has never dated or been kissed is apparently mad but unfortunately not legally insane. All kinds of merciless rumours and vicious gossips thrive and refuse to stop. Curious locals, exciting tourists and enterprising street vendors crowd the once quiet and narrow street. Photos are taken from every angle of the two lovely cozy two-story houses. Like a roller-coaster the selling number of cupcakes soars and soars and suddenly drops. Like Sleeping Beauty or Rip Van Winkle the tall dark—now a little pale, though—handsome and furry Trenton police detective Joseph Anthony Morelli slumbers on. There's nothing medically wrong with Mr. Morelli really, the doctors patiently explain to the worried family and the persisting reporters. The human body is an extremely complicated machine that contains more wonders and mysteries than anyone can imagine. Right now they can only say Mr. Morelli will wake up when he's ready. Who knows, maybe he will opens his melted chocolate eyes, stretch, yawn and smiles his ever so charming smile late this night or tomorrow morning.
Stephanie Plum looks into the mirror and tries not to sigh. She's all alone inside Ranger's tastefully decorated apartment, and for the very first time in her life, she is truly happy and contented. She has never ever regretted her choice and decision. But somehow she just can't stop feeling guilty and ashamed about what happened. And from time to time the small sneaky voice in her heart will question her if she really, really deserves any happiness.
Is she a good enough person?
Is she a good enough woman?
Is she a good enough daughter?
Is she a good enough hamster owner?
Is she a good enough live-in girlfriend?
Why does Emily Hasting—an almost complete stranger—hate her this much?
Why did Joe decide to reach for his gun?
What if she's not good enough?
What if it was actually all her fault?
And why can't she stop doubting herself?
Once again she searches her own eyes. Once again she finds no answer. Maybe she will never know. Maybe she will always question and doubt herself. But she knows all she can do right now is try her best and live her life. She's with Ranger now. She loves him and he loves her back.
And that alone is more than enough.
~The End~
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