Chapter 10
She
looks tired and a little bit anxious. Her smile is happy but small. Her
hamster is still in hiding. She doesn't know there's a tracker inside
the key ring he gave her. He keeps on driving and doesn't say a word.
They are both used to his silence. He hasn't had lunch yet. They are
heading to his apartment. She lets out a tiny sigh and starts to fidget.
She wishes she knows how to phrase her confession. He's the younger son
of a big family. He has an ex-wife and a daughter who everyone says
looks just like him. Everyone in the world knows he's no family
material. He enjoys his freedom and his solitude. He doesn't want
children. He doesn't do relationship. He doesn't need burden. He once
told her maybe someday he will change. She has no idea if someday is
anywhere near.
And she's afraid to ask.
They both know she's
being a coward. They both know she never feels comfortable out of her
comfort zone. They both choose to say nothing, ignore it and live on
with their lives. She runs straight into Denial Land without a backward
glance whenever she feels scared and unsafe. She doesn't know what she
really wants in and for her life. She doesn't want to be a
disappointment. A disappointment to her mother. A disappointment to her
father. A disappointment to her family. A disappointment to her friends
and neighbors. A disappointment to all the people who have ever seen her
picture on TV or in the newspapers. She wants to be somebody. She wants
to be nobody. She wants to be different. She hates being too different.
She hates being average and normal. She can't help wanting to be
average and normal. She doesn't want to be lonely. She can't stand
living under the same roof with another human being for more than three
months. Stephanie Plum silently thinks of the problems of her life and
suddenly wants to slap herself.
She hates feeling stupid. She
hates feeling intimidated. She's in love with the tall quiet man sitting
right by her side and still she dares not say a word to him. About her
love. About her lust. About her dreams. About her fears. About her
hopes, her wishes, her regrets and her mistakes. What if he doesn't want
her? What if he doesn't need her? What if he doesn't love her? What if
whatever they have between them is something that comes with condoms
instead of two wedding rings? What if she can't have what she want? What
if she can't have the man she loves? What if she has no choice but to
go back to Morelli and spend the rest of her miserable life with him?
What if...what if...
She closes her eyes tight and refuses to
think. Her body starts trembling slightly. Ranger's hand reaches across
the space between them and takes hold of hers. He doesn't say a word.
And somehow all of a sudden she feels better. Safer. And braver.
The
sleek sexy powerful Porsche 911 Turbo turns into the RangeMan
underground garage. Stephanie's crappy rusty car and her small shabby
untidy apartment blow up at exactly the same time. And people around the
world are still unsure if Nicki Minaj's breasts are real or not.
A/N: Tomorrow is an off-day. There will be no update. Take care. Have fun. Keep you fingers crossed if you must.
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