Be My Valentine Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Just how many bad guys are after Stephanie Plum? The firemen and the uniform cops shake their heads in disbelief and silently sigh. They all know and like Stephanie Plum. She's friendly, different and fun. They have learned to respect her choice and sort of admire her courage to lead an unconventional life. But sometimes they can't help wishing she can consider changing her job. The fire in the apartment is finally put out. The small bedroom is totally ruined. Everything inside is burned to a crisp, just like the sizzling smoking relic of the car down in the parking lot. The landlord and the superintendent have been informed. Luckily no one was inside the building at the time of the fire. Stephanie will have to buy new furniture and new clothes, and find herself a new place to live.

And it seems this time she is not going to move into Joe Morelli's small two-story house.

What's Stephanie going to say to him? Joe Morelli wonders to himself. "Joe, I'm sorry"? "Joe, it's over"? "Joe, it's not going to work between us"? "Joe, I will always love you, but I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved"? Or "Joe, I love you, but I'm not in love with you"? Will she cut the crap and simply say, "Joe, I'm leaving you for Ranger's money and cars"? And what the fucking Hell does "I love you but I'm not in love with you" mean exactly? Has she ever loved him? Has he ever loved her? Have they ever been in love with each other? Or were they just being too tired and too lazy and thus settled for someone familiar and easy to make everybody happy?

He looks into Stephanie's ocean blue eyes, confirms his assumption and eerily wants to bark out a laugh. The brave and skilled firemen and his fellow brothers in blue are watching, but he doesn't care. All the lies they said. All the excuses they made. All the charades. All the games. All the pizzas. All the beer. All the yelling. All the arm-waving. All the accusing. All the make-up sex. No. It's not about love. It's about loneliness. It's about needs. It's about desires. It's about lust. Somehow love is never involved.

Morelli knows what he has to do. He has no other choice. He hates being a loser. He always wants to be a winner. He has to say goodbye, turn around and walk away. He has to leave the stage with dignity and grace. He has to be the one who breaks away. But a part of him wants to fight. A part of him want to stay. A part of him wants things to stay the same. A part of him wants to feel her soft warm body next to him in his bed. He opens his mouth to speak, but Stephanie's tiny shaky yet crystal clear voice has already sounded.

"I love you, Carlos Manoso."

Stephanie Plum turns to face the man she loves and says. Everything becomes quiet. Everything becomes still. She can't even hear her own heart beat or the blood rushing through her veins. She feels the heat of Ranger's body. She inhales the scent of his Bvlgari. She sees the sudden intensity in his darkened eyes. She gives him a weak timid smile. She has said what she wanted to say. Now she can only wait.

Be My Valentine Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Helen Plum holds her head in her hands. Once again her younger daughter became the center of unwanted attention. Once again all kinds of outrageous rumours, irresponsible lies and exaggerated stories fly around the city. Once again she feels the irresistible urge to whack her head against her dining table and ask God, "Why me?". What has she done wrong to deserve this? Helen wants to know. She just wants Stephanie to have a steady and normal life. She just wants Stephanie to stop chasing dangerous people and tempting death. She just wants Stephanie to be safe and come to her senses. Why can't Stephanie quit her job and settle down with Joseph? She's already in her thirties. She has had a failed marriage. She can't make a decent living. She has no goals and ambitions. She and Joseph have been playing the cat and mouse game for ages. Why can't she think things through and do something with her mess of a relationship? Why can't she walk away and find someone else if Joseph is not the right man for her?

Helen exhales a tired sigh. She's not going to live forever. Who's going to take care of her Peter Pan of a grown-up child when she's gone? Who's going to call Stephanie and ask her if she's alright when her car or apartment is firebombed? Who's going to wash and iron Stephanie's clothes when she runs out of clean clothes? Who's going to bake Stephanie pineapple upside down cakes when she's upset? Who's going to take Stephanie in and cook her meals when she needs a place to stay? And who's going to run over the bad guy in the rabbit suit when she's in danger?

Helen Plum crosses herself and says a silent prayer. Once again she prays that her prayer will be answered and her younger daughter can finally find true happiness.

Emily Hasting sings along with everyone else and keeps a pleasant smile on her face. She has straight shoulder-length light brown hair and a sweet innocent voice. She has secret dreams and desperate hopes. She has two knives, a gun and three time-bombs in her car. She prays a silent prayer as she sings the beautiful hymn. She too prays that her prayer will be answered and the man she loves will love her back.

Joe Morelli coldly casts a glance at Ranger and focuses his attention back on Stephanie Plum.

Stephanie leans in closer to Ranger's side and looks at Morelli in his darkened eyes. She's a bit nervous. She's never good at confrontation, and she knows Morelli is upset. Narrowed eyes. Clenched fists. Tightened jaw. The hidden anger in his posture is so easy to detect. Maybe he will feel hurt and humiliated after hearing what she has to say. But whatever they have between them has to end. It's never really alive. And now it's finally and officially dead. She's in love with Ranger. And she can't keep on lying to herself. She has tried marriage once and it failed like a farce. She thought she could settle for someone handsome and familiar but she was wrong. And now she prays she will finally find true happiness. With the man she really needs and truly loves.

Even if his love won't come with a diamond ring.

Be My Valentine Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Why did she follow Joe Morelli all the way into his father's dark smelly garage that lazy summer afternoon? Why did she give herself to him on the hard cold floor that raining night? Why did she open her door and let him in when he came knocking on her door with her pizza in his hand? Why did she choose to forgive the savage smirk on his face when he cuffed her to her shower curtain rod? Why did she shrug at the memories of him trashing her apartment and jumping out of the meat truck trying to smack her face? Why did she tell herself "He was just angry. It's no big deal"? Why did she decide to have sex with him again after all those things and all those years? Why did her heart skip a beat when he told his mother and grandma they were engaged? Why did her heart crack and break when he said "There's I, and there's you, but there's no us"?

And why couldn't she stop wanting Ranger when they were back together?

And why am I feeling old and numb and tired when looking into his eyes?

She listens to the last breath of the dying flame and for the very last time asks herself. She already knows the answer. She just needs to be sure and confirm the answer. She just needs to muster enough courage to say it out loud. She was raised to be considerate and kind. She was taught to be polite and nice. She has been told time and time again that love is overrated. A steady income that comes with a respectable job is what really matters. All she has to do is to put dinner on the table on time every night and give birth to children to carry on the family name. Just like her mother and sister. Just like her aunts and cousins. Just like her grandmothers and great grandmothers. Know your rightful place, fulfill your duty as a woman/wife/mother and cherish all the little happiness and wonder in your ordinary average everyday life. Till the day you die. Even if you are not really alive.

And that's not the life she wants. Now she's sure of that. She wants to spend the rest of her life with someone she can't live without. She's willing to make adjustments and sacrifices for someone she trusts and loves. Someone who is always there for her. Someone who helps, guilds and protects her. Someone who never hesitates to bled money and blood for her. Someone who never asks anything in return. Someone who loves her in his own way. Someone whose actions are louder than words. Someone she has be in love with for years. Someone who is standing right beside her.

Ranger.

Joe Morelli clenches his jaw. He doesn't like the look in his girlfriend's eyes. He doesn't like the Mocha Latte muscular arm wrapped around her shoulders. He doesn't like to be a loser. He doesn't like to be a joke. He doesn't like to go down without a fight. He doesn't like to change his plan and sleep alone. He wants his pizza, his beer, his Yankees game and hot steaming balls-to-the-wall wild animal sex. He wants his woman back in his bed. It's not over until he says it's over.

But deep down somewhere in his heart, he knows he wants to turn around and walk away from Stephanie Plum. Without a backward glance.

Be My Valentine Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Emily Hasting walks into the church with a bright smile on her happy face. She's the first one to arrive, as usual. And once again she gets to park her car in her favorite parking spot. She has always been a good Catholic girl, and she loves the calm serenity of the church. She feels she's very near to God whenever she comes here. And she just loves to be surrounded by all those good and kind honest people who like to share jokes and gossips with everyone and anyone. She will light a candle for her Joseph when the choir practice is over. Both she and Elizabeth firmly believes that all good deeds will be rewarded by the Lord. And all the evil, shameless and treacherous people will be punished and burn in Hell. Just like Stephanie Plum and that tall Cuban. Both Emily and Elizabeth cross themselves. 

They can never understand Stephanie Plum.  All the terribly stupid choices and decisions she made. All the shameless lies she told. All the unforgivable sins she committed. Does she really have a functioning brain? Does she really have no shame? What was she thinking cheating on Joseph? He's such a fine handsome man. He has a respectable job and a promising future. Beside, he's white and Italian. And everyone knows he's Stephanie's first. What was she thinking sleeping with a dark-skinned man? He's a dangerous thug. He's an outsider. He's not one of them. He will never be one of them. Doesn't Stephanie care about what decent people will think? Doesn't Stephanie care about what decent people will say? Doesn't Stephanie know that she should marry her own kind?

Emily Hasting wraps her arms around herself and feels ill. She feels so, so sorry for her poor Joseph. He deserves a much better and way more faithful woman than Stephanie Plum. She closes her eyes, takes a ragged breath and tries to calm herself. She can't stand the abnormal and sickening relationship between Stephanie Plum and that colored man. She can't stand the foolishness. She can't stand the tackiness. She can't stand the shamelessness. She can't stand Stephanie Plum. She's going to punish Stephanie Plum. She's going to delete Stephanie Plum from Joseph's life. She'll strike with deadly accuracy and power. Just like an avenging angel. Beautiful and merciless.

And then Joseph will finally learn to know her, to love her, and to cherish her. He will take her to his father's old dark garage. He will take her virginity on a cold hard floor. He will cuff her naked to her shower curtain rod. He will ravish her. He will destroy her. He will burn her with his hungry and furious passion. He will resurrect her, recreate her, and wrap her around his ring finger. He will realize that they belong to each other. They will live happily ever after. Like the prince and his princess in the fairy tale.

Emily and Elizabeth smile and together they say a silent prayer. Yes, the Almighty Lord will help them overcome all the obstacles. They will kill Stephanie Plum and that tall Cuban. Justice and true love shall prevail.

Be My Valentine Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The moment Stephanie grabs hold of Ranger's hand, the corner of his lips curls up and he almost smiles. It's both easy and hard to love a woman like Stephanie Plum. She never feels comfortable openly showing her affections. She's never honest about her feelings though she can never hide the longings and desires in her eyes. He sometimes wonders what she truly wants from him and herself. She comes to him whenever she's in need. He gives her cars. He gives her protection. He gives her pleasure. He gives her help. She goes back to Joe Morelli once her problems are solved. It feels like he's playing with someone else's pet. Around them the firemen busily keep on working. Another police patrol car arrives. The uniform cops cast a glance at their direction and grin. Joe Morelli's frown grows darker and deeper. He's apparently upset. And Ranger, as usual, doesn't give a damn what Morelli thinks, wants and needs.

Joe Morelli. A thirty-something Trenton police detective. The man who grew up in the same neighborhood with Stephanie. Who is he exactly? A good man? A changed man? A smart and decent man who managed to escape a vicious family curse? Or a sly and lazy man who wants comfortable familiar easy sex instead of a committed relationship that eventually comes with obligations, burdens and a wedding ring? Does Morelli even know what he wants from Stephanie? Is Morelli willing and able to give Stephanie what she really needs? Can the two of them think things through, have a rational talk about their unhealthy on-and-off relationship and then walk away from it?

Ranger gently tightens his arm and gathers Stephanie nearer as he feels the warmth of her much smaller hand. She will always have a place in his heart. But does he have enough room for her in his everyday life? Does he want Stephanie to become an essential part of his world? Is she ready for a serious relationship? Is he ready for another marriage? Are they ready for babies? Will she have the courage to look at his eyes and tell him she loves him? Will she want to have him in her life?

And will she be able to quit Joe Morelli?

He raises his brow slightly at Stephanie when she looks up at him with a feeble smile. She's nervous, tired, and hungry. But she's also determined. She has something to tell him. She has something to say to Joe Morelli. She has made up her mind. She has chosen her path. Together they walk forward as a grim-looking Morelli pushes himself off his car. 

There will be no turning back.  

Be My Valentine Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Stephanie Plum's smile falters as a drop of silent tear starts to fall. She wishes no one gets hurt in the fire. She knows this time her landlord will finally drop to his knees and beg her to move out. Weirdos. Sickos. Criminals. Bombs. Fires. Blown-up apartment and blown-up cars. The things her life is made of. She makes enemies everywhere she goes. Destructions and dangers prevail. Happiness and success never last. No doubt she is called the bounty hunter from Hell. Trenton's very own Failure and Joke. She's a threat to all her neighbors' safety and lives. It's a miracle that both she and Rex are still alive. And now enough is enough. She tries to wipe away her tears. She's suddenly hungry and bone tired. It took all the courage she had to leave her apartment and come to Ranger. And now she has to go back. To face reality and deal with what she desperately wants to leave behind. Her tears just won't stop. She hasn't had the chance to look straight into Ranger's eyes and tell him she loves him.

And she's afraid she's going to stop being honest and brave this very minute.

Emily Hasting hears the distant sound of the sirens and once again laughs. She's sorry she didn't get to put an end to Stephanie Plum's miserable life. But she's a lovely and patient woman, and Stephanie Plum is ever so careless. There will always be chances. And both she and Elizabeth did have a great time when the bombs went off. Next time, next time she will put a bullet through that cheating slut's heart and make her feel Joseph's pain. Emily promises herself. Then Elizabeth can have some fun with that sharp hunting knife. Elizabeth is very very good with knives. And they will set off the bombs after that. To erase all the evidences. To leave the message that has been screaming in their head for years. Thou shalt not cheat. Emily gracefully nods her head as Elizabeth solemnly whispers in her ears. Besides, they both like bombs. The flame. The heat. The sound. The power.

Yum.

Joe Morelli leans against his car and grits his teeth as the firemen jump out of their trucks and set to work. He can barely contain his anger and impatience as he waits for his everlasting on-and-off girlfriend to call him back. He looks up and frowns at the shattered second-floor windows. He's a police detective. He's not a trained fireman. He knew it would be safer and wiser to wait and leave it to the professionals to arrive. But still he got out of his car and ran into the building to find Stephanie. He had no choice, really. People would be asking a lot of unpleasant questions if he did not. And he couldn't say he was not worried about Stephanie. Her car was burning in the parking lot right in front of his eyes. Where is Stephanie? He wonders. She's not here. She's not at her parents'. She's not at her sister's. She's not at Mary Lou's. She's not with Connie or Lula. And Ranger is out of town.

So where can she be?

Joe Morelli narrows his eyes as the Porsche 911 Turbo turns into the parking lot and stops. He takes a deep breath to calm himself as Ranger helps Stephanie get out. His face darkens as Ranger wraps an arm around Stephanie. His lips contorts as Stephanie reaches out and grabs hold of Ranger's hand. He looks at them. He doesn't blink. He can't feel a thing. And he doesn't know what to think. Are they friends? Are they co-workers? Are they lovers? Is that lust? Is that trust? Or is that love?

Love? Joe Morelli almost laughs an unsure laugh. What a word. Love. Silently he repeats the word in his head. And somehow it tastes bitter on the tip of his tongue. Yes, he can see what is coming. And he doesn't like it. At all.

Be My Valentine Chapter 11

Chapter 11

What is wrong to want to be loved? What is wrong to want the man you love for yourself? What is wrong to want to punish the bad and right the wrong? Emily Hasting drives away from the smoking apartment and contemplates to her laughing self. She didn't want to be late to her church choir practice(she's always the first to arrive), so she decided not to wait for Stephanie Plum and then planted the time-bombs. Her hands were shaking when she placed one under the narrow queen-size bed. And she had to bite her lips till she tasted blood as unpleasant images of her Joseph and that shameless woman flew through her mind. She may be a virgin but she's not naïve, thank you very much. Of course she knows Joseph has needs. He's a man, a healthy attractive sexy grown up man. And it's only sex. There's no love involved. She's sure of that. She can see it in Joseph's eyes when he looks at Stephanie Plum. She can see his lust. She can see his desire. But there's never love. Never.

NEVER.

Joe Morelli's car screeches to a stop when he sees the black smoke coming out of Stephanie's apartment and parking lot. His eyes narrow. His lips thin. His knuckles whiten around the wheel. He watches another driver gape and stare for a full minute before pulling out her cell phone and call 911. He wants to laugh. He wants to yell. He feels his anger rising. He wants to shake some sense into Stephanie Plum or punch someone or kill some unlucky bastard with his own bare hands. He can already see his fellow detectives' and officers' grins and smiles. He can already see friendly betting money change hands. He can already hear all those familiar jokes in his head. His mother will call. His aunts will call. His brother and sister and cousins will call. They will want to know what is wrong with Stephanie Plum.

Why can't she settle down and marry him? They will want to know. Why can't she quit her job and start a family with him? Why does she choose her sorry excuse of a life over you, Joseph? Why? WHY? Is there something wrong with you, Joseph? No, wait! It has something to do with the tall dark handsome mysterious Cuban man who drives expensive German cars and owns his own company, doesn't it, Joseph? Tell us the truth, tell us!

"Shut up!"

Joe Morelli snarls and smashed a fist against the driver's side window. No. He can't take it any more. He has had enough. It's time for Stephanie to make her decision. It's time for him to make a choice. He's too old too tired and too disgusted to keep on playing this game. This endless meaningless third-rate joke. He restarts the car and steps on the gas. He and Stephanie is going to have a serious talk.

Now.

Be My Valentine Chapter 10

Chapter 10

She looks tired and a little bit anxious. Her smile is happy but small. Her hamster is still in hiding. She doesn't know there's a tracker inside the key ring he gave her. He keeps on driving and doesn't say a word. They are both used to his silence. He hasn't had lunch yet. They are heading to his apartment. She lets out a tiny sigh and starts to fidget. She wishes she knows how to phrase her confession. He's the younger son of a big family. He has an ex-wife and a daughter who everyone says looks just like him. Everyone in the world knows he's no family material. He enjoys his freedom and his solitude. He doesn't want children. He doesn't do relationship. He doesn't need burden. He once told her maybe someday he will change. She has no idea if someday is anywhere near.

And she's afraid to ask.

They both know she's being a coward. They both know she never feels comfortable out of her comfort zone. They both choose to say nothing, ignore it and live on with their lives. She runs straight into Denial Land without a backward glance whenever she feels scared and unsafe. She doesn't know what she really wants in and for her life. She doesn't want to be a disappointment. A disappointment to her mother. A disappointment to her father. A disappointment to her family. A disappointment to her friends and neighbors. A disappointment to all the people who have ever seen her picture on TV or in the newspapers. She wants to be somebody. She wants to be nobody. She wants to be different. She hates being too different. She hates being average and normal. She can't help wanting to be average and normal. She doesn't want to be lonely. She can't stand living under the same roof with another human being for more than three months. Stephanie Plum silently thinks of the problems of her life and suddenly wants to slap herself.

She hates feeling stupid. She hates feeling intimidated. She's in love with the tall quiet man sitting right by her side and still she dares not say a word to him. About her love. About her lust. About her dreams. About her fears. About her hopes, her wishes, her regrets and her mistakes. What if he doesn't want her? What if he doesn't need her? What if he doesn't love her? What if whatever they have between them is something that comes with condoms instead of two wedding rings? What if she can't have what she want? What if she can't have the man she loves? What if she has no choice but to go back to Morelli and spend the rest of her miserable life with him? What if...what if...

She closes her eyes tight and refuses to think. Her body starts trembling slightly. Ranger's hand reaches across the space between them and takes hold of hers. He doesn't say a word. And somehow all of a sudden she feels better. Safer. And braver.

The sleek sexy powerful Porsche 911 Turbo turns into the RangeMan underground garage. Stephanie's crappy rusty car and her small shabby untidy apartment blow up at exactly the same time. And people around the world are still unsure if Nicki Minaj's breasts are real or not.

A/N: Tomorrow is an off-day. There will be no update. Take care. Have fun. Keep you fingers crossed if you must.

Be My Valentine Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Should she place the bombs as planned? Should she hide in the dark shadow with her knife and gun and wait? Where did Stephanie Plum go?  Why isn't Stephanie Plum here? Why isn't Stephanie Plum on the narrow queen-size bed taking her usual nap? Is this a bad omen? Should she abort the mission, retreat, make another plan and wait for another day?    

Emily Hasting frowns and quickly thinks. She has church choir practice at two o'clock and community volunteers meeting at three twenty-five(yes, she always arrives five minutes earlier to set out the iced tea she made and the cupcakes she baked. Everybody loves her cupcakes. They are always, always perfectly baked. And she makes the best iced tea. Ever). Emily proudly and modestly smiles. Yes, she knows she's a most amazing and talented woman. Yes, she knows she needs to find a way to vent all her rage, frustration and disappointment. She may be brave, pleasant and intelligent, but she's honestly no saint. However, she's never the kind of foolish shallow woman who makes hasty decisions when angered and then regrets when comes to her senses and finds out it's too late. Emily narrows her eyes. Elizabeth purses her lips. And together they evaluate the situation. 

Stephanie Plum's car is still down there in the parking lot. Stephanie Plum's fake Gucci shoulder bag is right here on the couch. And she doesn't have any new stalkers. Maybe she went over to a neighbor's? Surely she didn't go far. Surely she will be back anytime. Surely they can wait for her to return...and kill her. Emily smiles. Elizabeth grins. And surely they are the best partners. Ever. 


Joe Morelli taps his fingers on the wheel and hums along with the radio. The weather is perfect. The air is fresh. The blue sky reminds him of the six-year-old Stephanie's trusty eyes. And he's going to get laid. Yay.  He likes his life. He enjoys his job. And he loves to look straight into people's(mostly his old friends and neighbors) eyes and tell them "I am a changed man now". It makes him feel like he's the king of the world, not the son of a notorious drunkard and child beater. He sings along as Nicki Minaj's Starships starts to play.

He likes Nicki Minaj. She's cute, sexy and hot. Whether her boobs are fake or not. He sings and smiles and suddenly remembers the fear and shock in Stephanie's eyes and the thrill and lust that rushed through his veins the moment he cuffed her to the shower curtain rod. He licks his lips. Sometimes he likes doing it quick. Sometimes he likes doing it rough. Sometimes he really believes he does love Stephanie Plum. And sometimes he can't help wishing she can be wilder in bed and her breasts can be larger. Joe Morelli turns his car into Stephanie's parking lot.

As large as Nicki Minaj's.  

Cupcakes

I don't like Cupcakes.


I don't like women(or men or whatever creature out there) who are stupid and tacky enough to think being cuffed naked to your very own shower curtain rod by a hairy man who is currently trashing your apartment is cute, romantic and sexy. 


Cupcakes remind me of Eurythmics's Sweet Dream.

I say NO! to being abused.


I say NO! to being used.


I say NO! to stupid tacky writers.

I say NO! to stupid tacky stories.

  

Be My Valentine Chapter 8

 Chapter 8

The small dirty shabby apartment is now empty. A beer bottle stands all alone on the tattered coffee table. The air smells of dust and negligence. And Stephanie Plum, the woman Emily Hasting despises and hates like no other, is nowhere to be seen. Her rat of a pet is also gone.  A couple pairs of old torn jeans and several stained t-shirts quietly lie on the floor. Shoes—high-heels and sneakers alike—remain scattered everywhere. The slightly tacky-looking table clock keeps on ticking. The locks tumble. The front door silently opens. A slender shadow cautiously sneaks in on tiptoes. With a gun in its steady hand. It's a Glock 19. Stephanie's car key, along with her stun gun, handcuffs, two packs of Tastykakes, a half-full tube of mascara and a half-empty tube of lip-gloss, stays hidden unnoticed inside her shoulder bag the moment Emily Hasting lets out an inhuman growl of utter anger and frustration.

Yes, both Emily and Elizabeth resent surprises and changes of plans.

Stephanie Plum keeps on walking. For once she chose to walk down the stairs of her apartment instead of taking the elevator. She didn't want to risk running into the ever so kind old Mrs. Bestler. She did forget about her car key in her sudden rush to leave, but she didn't want to climb all the way back up for it. She didn't and still doesn't want to go back into her apartment. It reminds her too much of her mess of a life and fucked-up relationship. So she decided to walk. All the way to Haywood. All the way to RangeMan. All the way to Ranger.

She feels the sun in her face. It's warm but not scorching. She feels the summer breeze. It's neither cool nor refreshing. She breathes in the familiar Jersey air. She listens to the noises of the traffic. She watches the cars fly by. 18-wheelers. Trucks. Fords, Hondas, and a few Audis. Rex is still hiding inside his hamster cave. And she has Ranger's keys with her. They are all she needs.


Detective Morelli ends the phone call, swallows the last bite of his lunch and stands up from the messy desk. Thanks to the ever alert and diligent FBI, his afternoon is now free. He's going to has some quality time with Stephanie. And though he's still unsure if he really wants to get married and have kids, he knows for a fact that they are both going have a lot of fun.  And maybe he does love Stephanie. He smiles and thinks to himself. She always reminds him of cupcakes. So soft. So fluffy. Full of fun. A miniature of pleasure. So sweet. And so easy.  

A shining black car stops by the side of the road. The tall dark  muscular driver clad in black hits the horn. Stephanie Plum turns to looks at him, smiles, and then gets in.     





 



       

Be My Valentine Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I can't keep on doing this.

I can't keep on living like this.

I know whom I love.

I know whom I want.

I am just lying to myself and playing stupid.

And I have been doing that for years.

Why? Because I'm too afraid that he won't want me or love me back. And I can't blame him, really. Let's be honest. Let's be realistic. Why will someone like him want to be with someone like me? I am Stephanie Plum, the Queen of Denial. I am Trenton's very own bounty hunter from HELL. I never put bullets in my gun. I never check if my stun gun is fully charged. I blow up cars and houses like no one else. I more than often rely on my backups to do my job and keep me alive. I don't cook. I don't clean. I can't even afford a decent car. I never think of getting myself some training. I can't get myself out of an unhealthy relationship. I always crawl back to Joe Morelli, the man I have known all my life but not sure if I've ever loved. Always. And I don't even know why.

Is it out of habit?

Is it out of stupidity?

Is it because of lack of courage?

Is it because I'm lazy?

Or is it just because he's white, Italian, familiar and...white?

Stephanie Plum holds her head in both hands and asks herself. The table clock her aunt sent her as wedding present keeps on ticking. Rex keeps on running and his hamster wheel keeps on squeaking. And all Stephanie can hear is her own breathing. All of a sudden she's so tired. Tired of herself. Tired of her lies. Tired of her excuses. Tired of breathing. Tired of living. Tired of her very own stupidity.

So why will Ranger want to have a relationship with me?

Why will a man like Ranger want a woman like me?

How can Ranger love me the way I want him to love me?

He's not insane.

He's not stupid.

He's Batman.

He's the Man of Mystery.

He's the proud owner of a successful security company.

And I am Stephanie Plum. The Bounty Hunter from Hell. I don't like guns. I have no bullets. I have a pet hamster who bites me whenever I try to pat him. I have killed several men who wanted to kill me. I am still in a relationship with the hairy man who broke into my home, cuffed me naked to my own shower curtain rod, and trashed whatever I had. And he's coming over tonight with pizza and beer. And he expects me to let him fuck me as if I am a bitch.

Stephanie Plum closes her eyes and thinks of her fucked-up sorry excuse of a life for a long, long minute. Then she stands up from her couch, goes into he tiny kitchen and grabs Rex's brand new cage—the cage Ranger bought for her blood-thirsty hamster, and gets out of her small shabby apartment. She can't keep on doing this. She can't keep on living like this. She knows whom she always loves. She knows whom she always wants. And she can't keep on lying to herself.

She has had enough.

Be My Valentine Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Emily Hasting smiles her most charming and beautiful smile as her misty gray eyes fall upon Stephanie Plum's sorry excuse of a car. The old three-story building is as shabby as ever, and somehow looks even more dilapidated than usual under the bright sunlight. The parking lot is almost empty now. The old folks are all out having fun. And Stephanie Plum, the two-bit bounty hunter who hasn't been able to bring in one single FTA for 9 days now that the tall Cuban is out of town(no doubt committing crimes), will be home eating leftovers from her poor mother's dinner table for lunch—her very last meal, as a matter of fact.   

Yes, Emily is always ready and prepared. She, of course, knows Stephanie Plum's daily schedule by heart, and chose this particular time to execute the Plan for a very good reason. She's such a truthful, reasonable, kind and nice person. She has never ever tried to hurt an insect or any small animal on purpose.  And naturally she wanted to make sure there will be no casualty of war when she gets rid of that shameless incompetent woman who cheats on her sweetest dearest Joseph with that colored man. She has a most fragile and tender heart. She can't stand watching innocent people get hurt. 

It's time. Let's roll. Elizabeth, the happy little voice dwelling inside Emily's mind gaily whispers. The streets are empty. Nobody will see us. Stephanie Plum will be dead. That colored man will soon follow. And then Joseph will be ours! OURS!

She obediently nods. Elizabeth is right, as always. She checks her gun. She checks her knife. She checks the most exquisite bombs she made all by herself. God bless the Internet and all those wonderful and amazing people who selflessly teach everything on-line for free. She grabs the equipment, gets out of the car and heads for her destination. 

Just another day. Just another explosion. And this time Stephanie Plum won't be able to escape her fate.  Emily Hasting, the future Mrs. Joseph Morelli and happy mother of six most beautiful little Cupcakes, will see to that.    
  

Be My Valentine Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

Yes, it is her dream to marry(in a lovely, spectacular and grand church with a long history, of course) the man she loves with all her soul and all her heart and let him control and dominate their life and make all the decisions(what to have at dinner, how many children, etc. Oh how sweet is that?) while she irons his underwear and takes care of all his needs. Emily Hasting sits behind the counter, pleasantly nods, smiles and exchanges greetings with the readers, and secretly thinks to herself. She dreams to rest her head upon his shoulder and run her hand through his dense chest hair. She dreams to inhale the intoxicating scent of garlic, beer and cheese in his breath when he whispers in her ear in Italian.

Yes, she wants to be his Cupcake. His one and only Cupcake. Soft and moist. Sweet and easy. Gooey and buttery on top. Airy and fluffy inside. And full of promises. A miniature of ever-lasting happiness. Loving. And tender. Yes, she knows all about his past. The trips to his father's(God rest his soul in peace) old dark garage when he was eight years of age. The visits to the back of the high school gym. The adventures in the empty bathrooms. The amazing moments in the back of his cousin's second-hand car. And, of course, all those writings and poems on the walls.

But none of them matters. She knows all along Joseph was a bad boy(and maybe still is judging from what she has learned over the years). His dark past only makes her love him more. The torments he went through. The inner struggles. The pain of being a fatherless child. And the unbearable agony of being misunderstood. He was just a innocent curious boy. He was just a healthy teenage boy. He had longings. He had needs. He was no juvenile criminal.

And she wants to be the woman who changes him forever. With her love. Just like in the romances and fairy tales. She will be the most special woman who lights up his life. She will be the most precious woman who proves to the world that a man can and will change once he finds true love. Emily places a shaking hand on her chest and takes a deep breath to calm herself. She then looks up at the ancient clock on the wall and smiles. She grabs her bag, stands up from her chair and says goodbye to her co-workers. It's twelve sharp. If she drives a little bit faster than she usually does, Stephanie Plum will be dead within an hour.

Yay.

Cupcake Mentality

Soft and sweet.

Cheap and easy.

Gooey and buttery on top.

Airy and fluffy inside.


Full of promises.


A miniature of emptiness.
Boring. 
And vain.

Be My Valentine Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Does he really want to have kids? Does he really to get married? Is he really waiting for Stephanie? Will he jump up and down in joy and cheer if Stephanie tells him she has made up her mind and wants to marry him? Hell, he has no idea. He's Joe Morelli. He's a man in his mid-thirties. He enjoys playing games and gambling with life and refuses to settle down and get really serious. He has a dog. He has a house. He's a good man. He's a cop. He has stable life and steady income. 

So what?

Does that mean he has no choice but to go with the flow and marry Stephanie—a thirty-something woman who's no good at cooking, baking and cleaning? Yes, she's cute and fun to be with. Yes, she's sometimes adventurous in bed and sexy. Yes, she's different and thus attractive.  But she has a lot of shortcomings as well as a crazy family. They don't fight as much as they used to because they are both tired and have no strength for it. They talk about the Burg rumours and gossips instead of their thoughts and feelings because that will be too awkward and uncomfortable. The sex is as good as usual. Pizzas. Beers. Hockey games on TV. The familiar and best foreplays. And they both try their best not to talk about Ranger.

Of course they talk about Ranger's mystery cars and his muscular minions. Of course they talk about how to get Ranger to help him or the TPD solve a case or catch Stephanie's FTAs for her. Of course they joke about Ranger's compulsive need to keep Stephanie safe from time to time. But no, they don't talk about Ranger's relationship with Stephanie. 

Why? Because It's too god damn complicated. 

Joe Morelli sighs a sigh and rubs his eyes. He's a busy man, a devoted police detective. He wants a promotion and is in need of a pay raise. He has crimes to fight and bad guys to catch. He really truthfully doesn't have time for trivials and insignificant stuffs. He doesn't mind having Ranger protecting, saving and helping Stephanie out. Let's face it: Ranger has the money and the manpower and knows just how to get the job done. Joe Morelli takes a bite of his doughnut and smiles. He finishes his lunch with the smile intact on his face and puts his concentration back on the case at hand.

And Stephanie will always come back to his bed at the end of the day no matter what. That's what matters right now. 

   

Stop Being Stupid

Anyone tells you that

ANY time you have people this upset over a storyline shows you're doing your job as a writer. People are becoming invested because of great writing

is not being honest with herself.  People leave reviews to tell you they don't like your story 
because they DISLIKE your story, not because you are a good writer.

Trust a Cupcake to be blinder than a bat and think that way.
 

Be My Valentine Chapter 3

Stephanie Plum unlocks the door, takes a look at her messy apartment and sighs. What has she done to deserve this crazy and fucked-up life?  She has no goals, no motivation, no ambition, no money, no car of her own, no dreams, no whatever. She knows she's not happy with herself, but she tries hard not to think too much of that. She just wants to drift through a day and then another. She just wants to catch enough skips, pay her rent, and keep a blind eye on all the problems and issues she has to face one day. And yes, BTW, she loves and sleeps with two men. 

She drops a couple grapes into her pet hamster's cage. Yes, a cage, a brand new cage. The old glass aquarium fell to the kitchen floor and cracked last weekend.  Luckily Rex wasn't hurt. Luckily Ranger was here to help her save Rex. Luckily Ranger spent the night here in her bed that night. Yay. Stephanie grabs a beer from the fridge and sits on her battered couch.  It wasn't her fault, really. It's flat-out impossible to say NO! to Ranger. Besides, she loves to have him in her bed. Her narrow queen size bed. His hard, perfect, muscular body pressed to hers. Their legs entwined. Their arms around each other. His smooth skin. His soft warm lips. His silky hair. His dark brown eyes... 

And Joe has just called her and said, "Bob misses you, Cupcake." half an hour ago. Which means he will come over tonight(with a large pizza and a six-pack of beer, of course) for some hot steaming wild animal sex.
     

She gulps down the beer and closes her eyes, suddenly feeling sick and tired. No. She's not a whore. No. She's not a slut. She's pretty sure of that. She just can't decide what she really wants and whom she truly loves. She's not sure if she wants to get married and have kids with Morelli. She's not sure if she wants to have a serious relationship with Ranger, the Man of Mystery. She knows she always wants and loves Ranger. But right now she's not even sure if she really loves Joe. 

Sometimes she can't help thinking he's too hairy(she's never a big fan of apes and monkeys, sorry). Sometimes she can't help worrying that their kids will end up like him(luring little girls into Joe's dark garage, talking them out of their panties ten years later and writing about it on public bathroom walls? Geez!!!) What's the point keeping their unhealthy on-and-off relationship alive when both of them are unable to commit? It's just that everyone—her childhood friends, her neighbors, her relatives—seems to want them to be together:

Joe is your first in just about everything, Stephanie. You are no longer pure. You are already ruined. You may as well brace yourself and marry him. He's familiar. He's white. He's Italian. He's a changed man now. He's a living part of your history. He already has a house and a dog. He's in need of a wife and several kids. What are you waiting for, Lucky Girl? You are not young any more, don't you know? The ClOCK won't stop ticking.

People's eyes silently say. People's smile politely implies. And all these pressure and stress and expectation are giving her a headache and killing her.  Stephanie blows out a sigh and covers her eyes. 

How she wishes she has an answer for her messed-up life. 

Be My Valentine Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Emily Hasting wakes up at the crack of dawn. She lies still in her four poster princess bed, blinks away her sleepiness, and thinks of the plans for the day ahead. 

Yes, she reminds herself. Today is the day.

She prides herself for being a reasonable and respectable woman. She always had good grades in school. She loves poetry and romances. She has been dreaming about visiting Italy and Greece ever since she was a little girl, and she doesn't like New York City. She has been there twice, but didn't feel comfortable or safe there. Too many foreigners. Too many strangers. Too many outsiders. Too loud. Too orderless. Too unfamiliar. She gives herself a rueful smile upon remembering the noises, turns on the TV and starts cooking breakfast.

She enjoys taking care of people. She takes good care of herself. She cooks. She bakes. She cleans. She cherishes stability and values peace. She can't wait to have her own family. She never has pets(her father was always away on business and her mother wouldn't allow it) and wants to have children of her own. She knows her life is lonely and empty(and thus meaningless), but it's about to change. She listens to the morning news, sits down and starts eating. Whole wheat pasta and broccoli. A pinch of French sea salt. With a touch of tomato sauce and half-fat cream cheese. Yummy. She finds it essential to eat healthy. Though she doesn't like garlic, she loves the lingering scent of it(and cheese and onion and beer) in Joseph's breath. She also

has a cupcake waiting for her in the refrigerator. Carrot and ginger. Her all-time favorite.

She doesn't know why she loves Joseph this much. She fell in love with him when they were both small children. She loves his face. She loves his smile. She loves his wavy hair. She loves his deep brown eyes. She loves his hairy arms and legs. She silently moans and feels faint whenever she's lucky enough to have a peek of his hairy chest. Yes, she doesn't know why but she does love hairy men. 

One certain hairy man.

Emily Hasting exhales a happy dreamy sigh as she bites into the cupcake. God, she loves cupcakes. She also loves all the things smart people like her can learn from the Internet. She's going to get rid of Stephanie Plum today. She has it all planned. Nobody can save that shameless woman this time. Nobody will stand in her way. 

Today Stephanie Plum will be dead. 

And she will no longer be Emily Hasting, the quiet and plain part-time librarian. She will soon become Mrs. Joseph Morelli and move in the cozy lovely two-story house just right across the narrow street. She will sit on his chewed up couch. She will walk his big playful dog. She will wash his clothes. She will cook him meals. She will bake him cakes. She will sleep in his bed. She will be his wife. And he will love her back.

Yes, today Stephanie Plum will be dead. 

Yay.

 

Be My Valentine Chapter 1

Be My Valentine

Love is blind and desperate. Love needs no reason or motive. Someone is madly in love with Joe Morelli. And she's out to get rid of Stephanie and Ranger. Permanently.

Chapter 1

She sits behind the counter and smiles her pleasant smile.

She's not beautiful. She's not ugly. She's not extremely unattractive. She's not drop dead sexy. She's in her mid-thirties. She reads a lot. And sometimes she believes she's very smart. She likes setting moon and rising sun. She likes small animals such as cats, Chihuahuas and Pugs. She lives alone in a lovely cozy two-story house in a good and friendly neighborhood. She's polite and soft-speaking. She enjoys cooking and baking, and likes to try new recipes. She's a part-time librarian who loves her job. She's a woman secretly in love. She grew up on the same street with the man she loves. She hates the blue-eyed brown-haired woman the man she loves openly wants.

Yes, she's helplessly in love with Joseph Morelli. And she hates Stephanie Plum with all her heart.

She hates Stephanie's stupid smile. She hates Stephanie's crazy life. She hates Stephanie for not being good enough for Joseph, her Joseph. She hates Stephanie for cheating on Joseph with the tall Cuban. Yes, she knows all about Stephanie Plum. All those dirty little secrets. All those shameful scandals. All those kisses in that narrow alley. All those midnight trips to the seven-floored building.

And she also hates that dark-skinned thug. He's not one of their kind. Any decent woman should know to keep away from a man like that. She hates the way he looks. She hates the way he walks. She hates the way he talks. She hates the fact that he owns all those beautiful expensive cars. She hates the fact he is always there to help and save Stephanie Plum.

Yes, she wants something bad to happen to Stephanie. Women who cheat on the men who love them should be punished. She should be the woman who Joseph loves. She should be his Cupcake. She should be his sunray on a summer day. She should be his silver lining in a dark rain cloud. She should be his one and only. She should be the one to wear his ring. She should be the one to cook his meals. She be the one to bear him children. She should be his princess. She should be his happiness. She should be his fate.

And now she she has had enough. She will let nothing stand in her way. She will kill Stephanie Plum and that muscular Cuban. She looks at the picture of her sweet handsome Joseph with loving eyes. Her fingertip lingers on his smiling lips.

"Soon, Joseph," Emily Hasting whispers. "Soon I will make you mine."