Chapter 6
Joe Morelli has lost his memory? Wow. It's just like the world's funniest and cruelest joke. Men raise their brows and drop their jaws. Women twist their lips, narrow their eyes or frowns. How convenient. He
has no trouble reading. He has no trouble writing. He knows how to use
knife and fork. He knows what toilet paper and shower curtain are for.
He knows how to speak English. He knows when to say "Yes", "No" and
"Please". He knows green hospital jello is world-famously gross. He's
thinner, paler but still furry and good-looking. He just can't remember
his damn name or his mother's face. And he remembers nothing of his
past. Nothing.
He stares at his reflection in the mirror marveling
at the scar on his brow and the tattoo on his chest. He can't be sure
if the name "Stephanie" sounds familiar. He can't decide if "Cupcake"
means somehting special. He furrows his brows in confusion when one of
the female nurses asks him if "lizard tongue" ring a bell. His whole
family comes to visit. They bring with them his dog(with his doctor's
approval, of course), his family photo albums and all kinds of his
favorite homemade dishes and desserts. But sadly their hope crashes as
all their attempts fail. Nothing triggers anything in Joe's brain. His
grandmother's presence and mystical stare(aka the Eye) don't help. His
dog's big wet smelly kiss doesn't work. His godmother's lasagna makes
him burp. The sting of his cousin's slap on the back of his head makes
him course. His friends come with wicked stoiries of their wild, wild
past and go home crestfallen hours later. Then one by one barmaids,
waitresses, several thirty-something divorcée, and a tall curvy
cold-eyed blonde woman drop in and pay him a visit. He happily and
almost shyly gives them his most charming smile as they kiss him on his
cheek and hold his hand. But still he remembers nothing. Nothing at all.
A
constant stream of doctors, specialists, and shrinks come to examine
him every day and shrug and go away. His aunts and grandmother light
candles for him and weep and frantically pray. His dog chews his
cousin's shoes and socks and couch and wonders when his human will be
back. His mother holds her head in her hands and closes her eyes. Her
tears have run dry. She has done whatever she could and now she's tired.
There's only one way left. She has to go talk to Stephanie Plum. She
has to persuade Stephanie to visit Joseph. She hopes and wishes and
prays that the sight of her son's on-and-off ex-girlfriend will be the
magical cure-it-all. She needs to have her Joseph back.
And she won't take "No" for an answer.
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